OhMyMushrooms Felivia and Sophie Meet the Cullens
by Taliana-The-Vampire-831
Summary: The Cullens make some new friends. Me and my psycho friend ItsaTay. A series of short but very comical moments with us and the Cullens. WARNING: If you don't like psycho fan-girls, or Psychotic moments. thenfor the love of Carlisle, Do Not Click This Link
1. Hey Look, The cullen boys In my Driveway

A/N: YAY i can finally post! *stupid 2 day waiting period.*  
Emmett: Yay for you! *claps*  
me: You're so cute when you clap...ANyways!during my horrible 2 days of waiting, me and my friend itsatay started writing a story together. well I started it..and sent it to her in a File transfer on AIM, and she asked to help. So this was all before itsatay started helping me. Chapter 5 onwards is both Tay and I. So now you may Enjoy it ladies and Gentlemen!  
Emmett: *claps again* Yay!

DISCLAIMER: "Sadly, Tay and I do not own Twilight. If we did that'd be awesome. Oh but I DO own myself and my posessed sansa, and my dog, and my cats, and guitar hero, and my clothes...and this lis can go on and on so i'm not continuing, and Tay owns herself. And I own Emmett, while Tayowns Edward...but Shushies, Stephenie doesn't know that we took Emmett and Edward from her. So don't say anything."~Felivia

* * *

Oh Shitake mushrooms! It's Felivia!!!

Hey look it's the Cullen boys in my driveway.

I woke up in the morning, found my pajamas and put them on. I walked down the hallway, glanced into my father's room, _Oh yeah…my dad's at my cousin's house and he won't be home until tonight…_ I thought. Then I glanced into my sister's room. _Oh…I forgot. They moved out yesterday…_ So I went to the kitchen. Made myself some Dr. Dew and then attempted to hook my Sansa up to the surround sound. After failing about ten times, and then finally succeeding, I turned the surround sound up half way, and my Sansa up all the way. Voltaire's Land Of The Dead started blaring out of the speakers. I started singing along. "The Menotaur's my butler the Cyclops my valet, a Centaur drives my chariot, that takes me down the way, to a river made of fire, to a street that's paved in Bones, I got a dozen zombie skeletons to walk me to my throne. In the land of the Dead, Heck boy ain't it grand? I'm the over lord of the Underworld 'cause I hold Hara's hand, in the land of the dead, I'm dark side royalty." When all of a sudden I heard a knock at the front door.

I walked to the kitchen, glanced out the window that looked out on the driveway. "Hm, why's there a red jeep that's not my dad's in the middle of the drive way…." I asked myself, and then turned my head to the side to look out the window leading to the front porch. "Oh shi--…It's the Cullen boys!" I squealed. I tapped on the window. Carlisle turned his head, and I said, "Go to the back door…walk around the right side of the house and it should be back there," with a smile. Just as I was walking back to the laundry room Ex Lover's Lover started playing. I pulled the sleeping bag away from the back door and opened it up. "Hey, hey, hey." I said with a huge grin. "What brings you boys here? In the Middle of Nowhere?"

From the living room came: "will the corpse expose I would work in haste, and I might burry the bones, in a shallow grave, and the rain comes and moves rocks and the stones, washes away all the dirt and the mud flows, bones are exposed, and well you know how that goes! I wait for the day when I'll finally defile the bodies of my Ex lover's lover, I'll pile high to the sky the bodies of my Ex lover's lovers, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, watch them Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die…"

"Um…wow, that's a lovely song you have playing there…" Emmett said stifling a laugh.

At the same time, Jasper was snickering, saying "And a lovely outfit too."

I looked down, and saw that 1) I wasn't wearing any panties or a bra, and 2) My shorts & shirt were both holey and about 6 sizes too big on me. I blushed. "Well I'm home alone, and I wasn't expecting visitors today…do you want to come in?" I said and moved out of the way.

The four of them walked in, and then went into the kitchen. "So what brings you boys here…I never got an answer." I said as I changed the song on my sansa, and turned it down slightly. Sugar Pie Honey Bunch by the Temptations started playing.

" The girls told us we needed some "male bonding" time so we decided to go across the country and see some of the 'world's largest' objects around the U.S…It was Emmett's turn to pick what we did for our Male bonding time. And well, Emmett here got us lost. He figured we could drive down this street and maybe find out how to get back to a place with people. We got to the end of the road…and saw the turn around and a crap-load of trees. Jasper smacked Emmett on the head, and he saw that the other neighbors weren't home and we all heard music coming from your house." Edward explained.

"Well now…why don't you four just stay here for a little while? I'm getting rather lonesome." I said laughing. "Besides, I might know what you're looking for. There's not too much to do 'round here, but I've done most of it. Unless you're looking for Pittsburgh…because the only thing I've done up there is go to the Andy Warhol museum and go to plays or musicals." I continued.

"Well Emmett wanted to see the World's Largest Teapot in West Virginia…are we anywhere near that?" Jasper said, saying "World's largest teapot" really weirdly.

"Oh. Yeah, its about 20 minutes that-a-way." I said pointing in some direction where I thought it was at. "You boys are in a completely different state…in fact, you have to go through Ohio to get to West Virginia from here." I said laughing even more.

"See, I told you Emmett! We shouldn't have taken that turn, but No, you refused to listen." Edward said smacking Emmett with the map.

"So are you boys going to stay here for a while? Or are you just going to go on your merry way?" I asked, trying to convince them to stay.

After I said that, This cocaine makes me feel like I'm on this song by System of a Down started playing. I quickly ran over to change the song. It changed to If You Were Gay from Avenue Q. I just started laughing, Emmett's eyes lit up, and he started singing to Jasper: "well okay, but just so you know…if you were gay, that'd be okay. I mean 'cause Hey. I'd like you Anyways! Because you see if it were me, I would feel free to day that I was gay, But I'm not gay. If you were queer, I'd still be here, Year after year, because you're dear to me. And I know that you, would accept me too if I told you today, Hey Guess what I'm gay! But I'm not gay. I'm happy just being with you. So what does it matter to me what you do in bed with guys!!! No its not! If you were gay! I'd shout Hooray! And here I'd stay! But I wouldn't get in your way, you can count on me to always be beside you every day to tell you it's okay you were just born that way, and as they say its in your DNA you're gay!! If you were gay!!" and I started laughing at Jasper's facial expression, it was a mix of annoyance, amusement, and anger.

"Okay…that was random…" I said with a smile. "So guys, are you staying or going?" as I said that, Should I stay or Should I go by the Clash started playing. "Wow, this damn thing is possessed. It plays either the worst possible songs or the best songs for the moment at hand.

"I guess we can stay for a little while…" Carlisle trailed off. Jasper and Edward looked very scared.

"Carlisle…You aren't hearing what's going on in that messed up little brain of hers…we should get out of here as soon as possible." Edward whispered to Carlisle from his left side.

Jasper, who was on Carlisle's right side whispered, "Yeah, you don't know what she's feeling, and I don't like it. So let's get out of here."

"Oh boys, it cant be That bad…can it?" Emmett said coming over to me and putting his arm around my shoulders. "So, shortie. What's your name?"

"Not shortie…I can tell you that much. I'm not that short. I'm proud of my five foot one and one half inches! And my name's Felivia." I said thinking about kicking Emmett in the shin…but then thinking twice about it. I didn't need to get hurt.

Jasper started laughing. "Oh wow you're really short."

"We can't all be freakishly tall like you four. I mean all of you are like over a foot taller than I am…" I complained.

"Em, you can stay if you want, but Jazz and I are leaving." Edward said grabbing Jasper's arm and dragging him towards the back door.

"Noooo don't leave! Please, I promise I'll behave!" I said and dove to the ground, wrapping my arms around Jasper's leg.

"Wow…did you lose your mind or something?" Edward responded.

"No silly, I sold it on E-bay. To a big black guy named bubba!" I said with one of my huge grins getting up off the floor.

"Alright, I'll stay…Edward, I guess if you want to leave you can…" Jasper trailed off. Edward cringed anticipating the cling-fest that was sure to come.

"Buhbyes Edward. I'm fine with these three, I don't even like you all that much." I said with a smile. He raised an eyebrow, and just walked out to Emmett's jeep.

"He's such an idiot. He doesn't even have the keys." Emmett said holding up his key ring, "And the door's locked."

"Hah! What did you think that a raccoon would try to steal your Jeep and take it for a joyride?" I said with what I call a 'giggle-snort.'

"Um…no, why?" Emmett said looking confused.

"The neighbors don't steal things…and there's a bunch of raccoons and turkeys out here." I said with another smile, and another giggle-snort.

I feel Lucky by Mary Chapin Carpenter started playing and I started singing. Carlisle figured he'd sit down on our white couch and use the coffee table as a footrest, and Jasper and Emmett mimicked him.

I started doing an 'air guitar' solo and almost fell over because my dog came running out and started barking at the boys.

"Now eleven million later I was sitting at the bar, I bought the house a double and the waitress a new car, Dwight Yokems in the corner trying to catch my eye, Lisle Lovett's right beside me with his hand upon my thigh, moral of the story is simple but its true, hey the stars might lie, but the numbers never do, I feel lucky oh, oh, oh, I feel lucky yeah, hey Dwight, hey Lisle, boys, you don't need to fight. Hot dog I feel lucky tonight. I feel lucky. I feel lucky yeah, think I'll flip a coin, I'm a winner either way, hmmm I feel lucky today." At the lines, "hey Dwight he Lisle boys you don't need to fight" I walked over and sat on Carlisle's lap. I would have sat on Emmett's lap, but my dog decided to do that in the middle of my singing.

"Hey Buddy. You like Emmett too?" I said petting my German Shepard Collie mix right before his tail. He started growling and Emmett started laughing.

"Why's he growling like that?" He asked.

"Because, that's his "Happy spot."" I said laughing. "Okay, get down Bud."

Just then my other dog, Coby came out and jumped on Jasper's lap. Jasper's eyes darkened slightly, and then he shoved Coby off of him and onto the floor.

"Jazz, go ahead, I hate that little shit-head dog. He always chews up my stuff and no one else's. I mean look at my wallet for example." I said laying back on Carlisle's legs to reach the Coffee table and grab my wallet. I basically did a sit-up and then I opened it up and showed them how the middle compartment had bite-marks in it. "Then again, my sister would kill me if she came back and her dog wasn't here…" I said. Just then Wake Up Call started playing and I smiled and opened my mouth to start singing again.

"No singing!" Jasper said and put his hand over my mouth.

"You're no fun." My response was muffled, but I knew they understood it.

"Oh my God. Is that a drum set for Rockband?" Emmett said with a huge grin.

"No…its for Guitar Hero: World Tour." I said laughing. "Rockband's for losers."


	2. Enter the psycho neighbor: Sophie

Oh Shitake Mushrooms. It's Felivia.

Chapter Two

Enter the psycho neighbor: Sophie.

Carlisle's head perked up a little bit, like a dog's would when he hears a weird noise outside. "Um...Felivia...Do you perchance have any neighbors that would attempt to tackle Edward?" he asked.

"Um...I can think of one...why?"

Just then Edward came running into the house full vampire speed screaming, "Get away from me devil woman!" My loving, psychotic neighbor, Sophie, was chasing him, screaming, "Why won't you love me?!"

"Sophie! Halt!" I said jumping over the coffee table and landing in front of her. She ran me over and continued chasing Edward. The annoying chase music that's played in the movies where everyone's running through doors started playing on my Sansa. "Okay, ouch." I said laughing.

Carlisle got up and held out his hand so he could help me up. "Are you okay?" He asked laughing. Edward came running back out towards the living room and finally Sophie caught up to him because Edward had stopped before running into Carlisle and I. Sophie jumped up on his back and screamed, "YAY! I caught him!" and hugged him around his neck.

"Um what the hell was that?" Emmett said from the couch.

"That…my sexy vampire friend. Was my neighbor Sophie. She's obsessed with Edward. So therefore, when she saw him in my drive way, she figured, come down and chase him trying to tackle him." I explained, as Put Your Ass In The Air by Barracuda started playing.

Carlisle's head cocked to the side. "What kind of song is this?" he asked.

"The kind that has the same thing repeated over and over again, "Put your ass in the air, put your ass up in the air, put your ass in the air move around like you don't care." It's probably one of the easier songs to sing along to…" I said with a huge grin as Emmett started doing what the lyrics suggested.

Carlisle yelled at Emmett to stop dancing like that, and then changed the song.

"No fun." Emmett said laughing.

Sophie and I exchanged a very creepy looking glance at each other as Bumble Bees by Aqua started playing. We started dancing around and singing, and well dancing on our favorite Cullen boy for me, Emmett, for Sophie, Edward.

Emmett went with the flow and started dancing with me, while Edward tried to escape again. Emmett decided to pull me up onto the coffee table and just continue dancing. I lost my balance and fell off, knocking over my small plastic cup of Dr. Dew. "No!!!" I shouted, on the verge of tears. "Emmett!! You made me spill my Dr. Dew! And I'm out of Dr. Pepper! Now I have to use that cheap-ass Dr. Thunder." I complained and grabbed my cup to make more Dr. Dew.

"Dr…Dew?" Emmett asked cocking his head to the side.

"It's Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew mixed." I said with a huge grin. "Oh don't look at me like that, it's yummerific!" I said pouting when he gave me a look that questioned my sanity.

"Oh my God! I love this song!" Emmett said, as White & Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovich started playing. Emmett started rapping along with it, and doing a very awesome break dance to it.

"Em, don't break the coffee table, do that on the floor please." I said as I finished making my Dr. Dew. Sophie changed the song, Emmett complained, and then I started singing along as Memory by Sugarcult started playing. "This may never start, we could fall apart and not be your memory lost your sense of fear feelings insincere can I be your memory? So get back, back, back to where we lasted, just like I imagined, I could never feel this way, so get back, back, back to the disaster, my heart's beating faster holding on to feel the same. This may never start I'll tear us apart, can I be your enemy? Losing half a year waiting for you here, I'll be your anything, so get back, back, back to where we lasted, just like I imagined I could never feel this way, so get back, back, back to the disaster, my heart's beating faster, holding on to feel the same." And thus I started to do an air guitar solo in the kitchen. "This may never start, tearing out my heart, not be your memory, lost your sense of fear feelings disappeared can I be your memory? So get back, back, back to where we lasted! Just like I imagined, I could never feel this way! So get back, back, back to the disaster my hearts beating faster holding on to feel the same!" and then Sophie joined in, "This may never start we could fall apart, and not be your memory! Lost our sense of fear, feeling's insincere can I be your memory?" And she also started head banging.

Carlisle was sitting there, laughing. Jasper and Edward were staring at Sophie, Emmett, and I as if we went insane within the last four minutes. Infrared by Placebo started playing, and right when Sophie was about to start singing Edward tackled her down to the ground and clamped his hand over his mouth. "No more singing. You two sound horrible." He said.

Sophie was squealing with delight at the fact Edward was, one, on top of her, and two, he was actually touching her and not trying to avoid her. Edward's eyes widened, probably because Sophie was thinking about something that she wanted to do with Edward. Edward got up and hid behind Carlisle. "Oh come on Edward…it wouldn't be that bad…" Sophie said with one of her mischievous grins.

Just then Twisted Transistor by Korn started playing. "Oh wow, this girl has some great taste in music." Emmett said jumping off of the coffee table.

"Hey, do you think we could play some Guitar Hero: World Tour?" Sophie asked with a smile, still looking at Edward.

"YES! Oh my God Yes!" I said grinning.

"Just as long as you two promise to never sing…" Edward said looking scared.

"I CALL THE MICROPHONE!" Emmett shouted.

"Oh no, that's even worse…" Jasper said, he was still sitting on the couch. "Can I play the drums?"

"Nope, the little Shit-head dog that I was telling you about earlier chewed up the other drum stick so we only have one." I said throwing one of the guitars at Jasper, and then the other at Carlisle. "You three can play first, Sophie and I will make sure Edward stays in the house…" I said.

Sophie grabbed his left arm; I grabbed his right, and we pulled him over to the black couch against the wall. Sophie started cuddling up to him on his left side and I was admiring Emmett's backside, and Edward was shaking with fright.


	3. Guitar Hero Neminems and Snowball Fights

Oh Shitake Mushrooms, Its Felivia!

Chapter three

Guitar hero, Neminems, and snowball Fights.

While Sophie and I were torturing Edward, Emmett was singing One Way or Another by Blondie. Which was probably more torturous to Edward than what Sophie and I were doing. Carlisle was attempting to play the bass line, and failing miserably. "Carlisle, have you never played Guitar Hero before?" I asked laughing.

"No, I haven't…" He said putting the guitar down. Sophie ran over and grabbed it trying to prevent the bassist from failing. I got up off the couch, ducked and weaved my way through Emmett, Jasper and Sophie trying not to block their view of the screen. I made it to my desired destination, the kitchen. I grabbed my bag of M&Ms and ran back over to sit next to Carlisle.

"Why do you have M&Ms?" he asked.

"What are these M&Ms you speak of? I've only heard of neminems." I said.

"Neminems?" Carlisle asked with a confused expression.

"She only acknowledges M&Ms as neminems." Sophie and Edward said at the same time.

"Get out of my head Edward!" I shouted and threw some of my precious neminems at him.

"Um, that didn't hurt, so why'd you even throw them?" he asked.

"Because…Shut up! That's why!" I said and shoved a handful into my mouth.

"Oh wow you really told him off." Carlisle said stifling his laughter.

"How the hell can your friends put up with you?" Edward asked.

"I used to be normal…until I met those freaks I call friends." I said with a grin.

"Ye—Hey! Wait a second!" Sophie said.

"Oh my gosh, I just remembered. There's snow outside! Let's have a snowball fight!!" I said literally bouncing up and down on the couch.

Sophie, Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett all said, "I'm in." at the same time.

"I want to be on Emmett's team!" I shouted jumping up on the coffee table.

"I want to be on Edward's team!!" Sophie said, cuddling with Edward even more.

"Okay…So I call Carlisle to be on my team too." I said pointing at Carlisle.

"Aw but I wanted Carlisle!!!" Sophie complained.

"Okay, it could be you two versus all four of us." I said with a grin.

"Oh no. I'm not falling for that again." Sophie said.

"Alright." I said and turned off the Wii. "Come on boys lets strategisize." I said grabbing my "Snowball Fight Survival Kit" from my room and walking to my back yard.

"Don't you mean strategize…?" Carlisle said as Emmett and him followed me.

Emmett said, "That's what she said, Strategisize." As I said, "That's what I said, strategisize…" at the same time.

"Okay…we're going to lose, because my teammates can't even say the word strategize…" Carlisle said sighing and shaking his head.

"Okay we need codenames and walkie-talkies." I said grabbing some walkie-talkies from my Snowball Fight survival kit. "Carlisle. You're Dr. Feel-Good. Emmett, You're Grizzly-Man. Felivia, You're Psycho-vamp." I said to myself, "What? I don't want to be psycho-vamp." I replied to myself, "Well too bad, you're Psycho-vamp." I concluded my conversation with myself and then donned my 'army' uniform: a light blue bicycle helmet, my black gloves, a few sweatshirts, 2 pairs of blue jeans, and my winter jacket. Then I grabbed my eye shadow and drew two black lines on my cheeks. "Alright boys. Its kill or be killed out there." I said putting my "Grrr" face on.

"I still say we're going to lose." Carlisle said clipping his walkie-talkie to his pants.

"We're not going to lose, Dr. Feel-good! Over." I said into my walkie-talkie.

"Felivia, I'm right in front of you, you don't have to use the walkie-talkie." Dr. Feel-good said, not using his walkie-talkie.

"Dr. Feel-good! We must use the walkie-talkies at all times. And I'm Psycho-Vamp not Felivia. Over." I said into my walkie-talkie again.

"Um…Okay Psycho-Vamp." He said.

"Dr. Feel-good. We must also end our sentences with 'over.' Over."

"Wait, even when the sentence ends with over?" he asked into the walkie-talkie.

"Ends with what? Over."

"Even if it ends with over…over."

"Heh over is a funny word…over." Emmett said laughing into his walkie-talkie.

"See now Grizzly-Man gets the picture. Over." I said into the walkie-talkie.

"Shouldn't we make a fort? Over." Dr. Feel-Good said.

"Great idea Dr. Feel-Good! But I suck at making forts, so I'll just supervise while you and Grizzly-Man make it. Over." I said.

Dr. Feel-Good and Grizzly-Man made a super amazing fort, while I was on look out for team JES.

"Hey! Sophie!" I shouted when I saw her on the other end of my back yard. "We should make the forts first. Then we go to battle." I continued.

"…Okay." She said back, making Edward and Jasper make a fort that was twice the size of ours. I etched, TEAM FEC into the front of our fort with a stick, while Sophie scratched TEAM JES on the front of theirs.

"This. Is. WAR!" Sophie and I shouted at the same time and we both ducked under our fort.

"Okay Dr. Feel-Good, you take care of the Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner, Grizzly-Man, you take care of The Pansy…" I said into the walkie-talkie.

"I'M NOT A PANSY!" we heard Jasper shout on the opposite end of the yard.

"YES YOU ARE!" Emmett and I yelled back.

"Okay…anyways, I'll take care of The Psycho-Neighbor. Over." I continued into the walkie-talkie. Just then the sun came out of hiding from behind the clouds. "Bwah! You're sparkly!" I said and tackled Emmett, and hurt myself in the process.

"Wow…that was kind of stupid of you Psycho-Vamp. Over." Dr. Feel-Good said into his walkie-talkie.

"Okay men, put your grrr face on. Over." I said into my walkie-talkie. "Dr. Feel-Good, you go to the right. Grizzly-Man, you go to the left. Psycho-Vamp, you just sit back and relax back here until one of them is bold enough to try to get past Dr. Feel Good and Grizzly-Man. Over." I continued.

"Alright. Over." Dr. Feel-Good and Grizzly-Man said into their Talkies.

Dr. Feel-Good did a very James-Bondsy roll over to the fire pit and hid behind the barrel of burnt paper. Grizzly-Man was humming the Mission Impossible Theme and diving behind trees trying to get closer to Team JES. Dr. Feel-Good threw some snowballs at Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner while Grizzly-Man was doing a bunch of Matrix moves and flips to avoid The Pansy's attack. "Grizzly-Man, Fall back! Over." I said into the talkie. He ran back to our fort and did a body slide back to the safety zone. "Grizzly-Man, that was awesome. Over." I said.

"Thanks psycho-vamp. Over." He said with a smile.

"The Pansy is on the move, I repeat, the Pansy is on the move Dr. Feel-good. Over."

"I see him Psycho-Vamp. Over." Dr. Feel-Good replied and attacked The Pansy with a super humongous snowball.

"PANSY DOWN! PANSY DOWN!" I heard Sophie shout.

"I'M NOT A PANSY!" The Pansy said and jumped into a nearby tree.

"Okay, the Pansy's out of the picture Dr. Feel-Good. Now we need to get rid of Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner and Psycho-Neighbor. Over."

Psycho-Neighbor then jumped over the fort and dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged all of our 'bullets'.

"No!!" I said attempting a slow-mo jump in front of Grizzly-Man to 'save' him from Psycho-Neighbor's attack. I took the hit and landed in Grizzly-Man's lap. "G-Grizzly-Man…a-avenge me…" I said and pretended to die.

"Noooooo!!!" Grizzly-Man yelled and grabbed a big snowball and threw it right at Psycho-Neighbor's face. It was a direct hit. Grizzly-Man picked me up off his lap, laughing the whole time, and placed me on the ground behind our fort. "Dr. Feel-good, Psycho-Vamp is no more…over." He said pretending to be fighting back tears. I let out a small snicker. "Hey, dead people don't laugh." He whispered to me. "Anyways, I took care of Psycho-Neighbor, now all that's left is the Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner. Over."

"I can take him out right now, over," Dr. Feel-Good responded. I sat up and watched Dr. Feel-Good throw 5 really gigantic snowballs right at Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner. "GET HIM DR. FEEL-GOOD!" I shouted.

This distracted Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner and he got hit right in the face, with 4 out of the five snowballs. "Victory is ours!" Grizzly-Man shouted into his Talkie and then broke out into a Touchdown Dance.

"Wow, you're real nice to our deceased soldier." Carlisle said laughing.

"Oh yeah, Psycho-Vamp is dead." Emmett said with a frown.

"I'm not dead, and now I'm just plain old Felivia." I said laughing.

"Oh shi—Zombie!" Emmett yelled and hid himself under the snow.

"I'm not a zombie. I'm a vampire." I said with a smile.

"No you're not." Carlisle said.

"Well I mean if you bit me I would be…" I said shoving my arm right in Carlisle's face.

"I'm not going to bite you." He said shoving my arm back down to my side.

"Aw why not?" I asked sounding very disappointed.

"Because, I'm sure your father wouldn't enjoy having to lose his daughter like that." Carlisle said.

"Oh sure he would." I said with a laugh.

"Surely you can't mean that." Carlisle said his eyes widening.

"Nope, I don't. But I need to get out of this middle of nowhere hick-town. See new sights, experience new things!" I said being overly dramatic with my mini-speech.

"You could always say you're spending the night over my house, and that my Aunt kidnapped us and took us to her house in Chicago." Sophie said with a smile.

"And say the plane went down and we all died!" I said getting excited.

"Oh wow. You two really don't like it here then?" Emmett said from under the snow laughing.

"Dude, you try having cows that go "Mooooo!!" obnoxiously loud every morning at like 6 right in your back yard." Sophie and I said, doing a poor imitation of a cow.

"Hey that way we'd get breakfast." Emmett said with a smile.

"No! Emmett! No! That's bad, you can't eat the McCoy's cows!" I said hitting him in the face with a snowball. "So what do you say Carlisle, can we come back to Forks with you?" at his hesitant expression, Sophie and I said, "Please???" and gave him one of the cutest darned group puppy-dog eyes the world has ever seen.

"Oh no, not the puppy-dog eyes…" Carlisle said closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at it. "Are you still doing it?"

"No, of course not." I said, I hated lying, but if I had to lie to get Carlisle to let us go with them, then I'd lie ten million times.

He opened his eyes, "You little liar!" He said, and sighed. "Alright…I suppose you can. But I'm not changing you into vampires." He continued.

"Thank you, thank you thank you!!!" Sophie and I said and gave him a big group hug.

"Um, okay, you can stop now." Carlisle said patting me on the head.

"Wait. How're we all going to fit in Emmett's Jeep?" Jasper asked.

"Quiet pansy. We'll find away." Sophie and I said together.

"I...am...not...a...Pansy!" Jasper said looking really annoyed.

"Yes you are. Now shut up." I said, and then said, "I know!! Sophie can sit on Ed—or maybe Carlisle. And I can sit on Emmett and the pansy can drive!"

"Oh no, Edward can drive, I'm not letting that pansy drive my Jeep, last time he almost wrecked it." Emmett said giving Jasper a small glare.

Sophie went home to pack, and I ran to my room and started packing my things.


	4. DisneySongs Road Trips & Annoyed females

Oh Shitake Mushrooms, Its Felivia!

Chapter Four

Disney Songs, Crazy Road Trips, and Annoyed Female Cullens.

"Hey Emmett, does your jeep have one of those things that can plug MP3 players into it?" I called out.

"Um, I think so, why?" he asked walking into my room.

"Because, I want to annoy the crap out of Jasper and Edward with my crazy music, at least for the first few minutes." I said with a mischievous grin.

"Okay then." He said returning the grin.

"Wow, your room is messy." He said trying not to step on my piles of clothes.

"Yeah…I'm lazy. But don't worry, I'll keep my junk cleaned up when we get to Forks." I said with another grin.

"Okay…" Emmett said laughing. "Stop thinking 'bout it if you haven't already, because if you think of it too much Edward will be onto us and refuse to let us plug the thing in." Emmett whispered as he helped me pack.

"Good idea Emmett." I said with a smile. "So can I sit on your lap, or are Sophie and I stuck riding in the trunk type area in the back?"

"Well seeing as we don't want to get a ticket, you can sit on my lap, but I don't know if Carlisle will be willing enough to let Sophie sit on him." Emmett said with another smile.

"Whoop!" I said and started dancing. I tripped over my old backpack and I would have fallen over if Emmett hadn't caught me.

"Are you done packing yet?" Jasper called from the laundry room.

"Yeah!" I said and grabbed my bags. I ran out the back door and threw my bags into the back of Emmett's Jeep. Jasper, Carlisle and Sophie climbed into the back seats, while Emmett sat up front and held out his hand so he could help me into the Jeep. I handed him my sansa and he plugged it in.

"What are you doing Emmett?" Edward asked looking at my Sansa.

"Plugging in an MP3 player so we can listen to music." He said laughing.

"Okay…" Edward said and started backing out of my driveway.

I whispered in Emmett's ear, "Are you going to sing along with me?" to which, he nodded and I hit the play button.

I started singing, On the Open Road from A Goofy Movie, "Do you need a break from modern living? Do you long to shed your weary load? If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried just grab a friend and take a ride together upon the open road!!! Come on Maxi!"

Emmett took over from there, "All in all, I'd rather have detention. All in all I'd rather eat a toad. And the old man drives like such a klutz that I'm about to hurl my guts directly upon the open road!"

And then Sophie took over from there, "there's nothing can't upset me 'cause now we're on our way, our trusty map will guide us straight and true!!"

And much to our surprise, Carlisle took over from there, "Roxanne please don't forget me, I will return some day, though I may be in traction when I do!"

Then I started singing once more, "Me and Maxi Relaxing like the old days!!"

As I finished that line, Emmett started singing, "This is worse than dragon breath and acne!"

Followed by Sophie piping in with, " With a buddy, buddy kind of mode!"

To which Carlisle followed with, "I'm so mad I think I may explode."

Then I took over once more, "When I see that highway I could cry."

"You know that's funny so could I," Emmett sang.

"Just being out on the open road!" All four of us sang.

Jasper took over from there singing in a southern accent, "Howdy boys, is this the way to Nashville?"

Carlisle, "Watch it Mac or you'll be getting towed!"

Emmett, "I'm in no hurry to arrive 'cause I'll be turning sixty-five the next time I sees the open road!"

Me in a very high-pitched voice, "Just a week of rest and relaxation."

Sophie in a very low-pitched voice, "Yeah!"

Me still with a high-pitched voice, "And the odd romantic episode!"

Emmett, "Very odd!"

Carlisle, impersonating Mickey Mouse, "And it's californ-eye-ay or bust."

Sophie, pretending to be an old lady, "Look out you dirt bags eat my dust! From now on I own the open road!!"

Me, "It's me and little Maxi, my pipsqueak pioneer."

Emmett, Sophie and Carlisle pretending to be nuns. "Their car ventures forever westward Ho."

Then all four of us, "Yee-Haw!"

Emmett, "Could someone call a taxi and get me out of here, to Beverly Hills 90210."

"Oh! Everyday another new adventure! Every mile another new zip code. And the cares we had are gone for good." Sophie, Carlisle and I all sang.

"And I'd go with them if I could." Emmett piped in.

"I got no strings on me, I'm feeling fancy-free how wonderful to be on the open road!!" all four of us finished laughing.

"Emmett! I'm going to kill you!" Edward said taking his eyes off the road. His eyes widened as he realized what song was playing now. The melody for It's a Small World After All was being played with trumpets. He reached for my Sansa.

"No! Edward!! Don't hurt Mr. Sansa!" I said hugging it.

"I'm not going to hurt Mr. Sansa…I'm going to Kill him!" Edward said.

I shoved it down my shirt. "You want him, come get him."

"…I don't want him now…" Edward said and continued driving.

"That's what I thought." I said with a grin.

Emmett, Sophie, and I all started singing, "It's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hopes it's a world of fears. There's so much that we share that its time we're aware it's a small world after all!!! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all it's a small, small world!" and then a small musical interlude came along to which, we danced like the idiots we were. We continued our singing, "There is just one moon and one golden sun, and the smile means friendship to everyone, though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide It's a small world after all!! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small, small world!"

And then Carlisle and Emmett sang the chorus, while Sophie and I started singing the first verse again, might I add, we sounded pretty amazing because we all harmonized. All the while, Jasper and Edward looked like their heads were about to explode.

"I think that's enough singing!" Edward and Jasper yelled after the final note.

I started crying. "But…it's my favorite song! What's This? From the Nightmare Before Christmas!"

"…Okay fine. That one is tolerable I guess." Edward said keeping his eyes on the road.

Emmett and I harmonized, and sang up to the end of the second verse, and then got bored with it, "What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere! What's this? There's white things in the air! What's this? I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming wake up Jack this isn't fair! What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong, what's this? There's people singing songs! What's this? The streets are lined with little people laughing everybody looks so happy have I possibly gone daffy what is this? What's this? There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads! They're busy building toys and absolutely no one's dead! There's frost in every window Oh I can't believe my eyes, and in my bones I feel the warmth that's coming from inside…Oh look, what's this, they're hanging mistletoe! They kiss? Why that looks so unique, Inspired! They gathering around hearing stories roasting chestnuts on a fire what's this? What's this, In here? They've got a little tree how queer…Okay I'm bored with singing…" we said at the end of that line.

"Hey look! It's the giant teapot!" Emmett said looking out the window as we passed Chester, West Virginia.

My Disney play list continued throughout the whole ride to Forks, with Emmett Sophie, Jasper, and Carlisle all singing certain songs. Driving Edward insane the whole ride. We pulled into their driveway, rain coming by the bucketful from the sky.

"Yay!" Sophie and I shouted after we jumped out of the Jeep. We ran around in circles playing in the mud and the rain.

"Wow…they have officially gone insane." Carlisle said laughing.

Esme, Rosalie, Alice and Bella came out on the porch as Sophie and I were singing I've Got No Strings from Pinocchio.

"What the hell?" Rosalie said giving a questioning look at us as we attempted to do that crazy Russian dance where they cross their arms over their chest and kick their legs out to the side and failed to the point where we fell into a mud puddle. We then got up and started waltzing around their front yard to Once Upon A Dream from Sleeping Beauty, with me singing Aurora's part, and Sophie singing Prince Phillip's part and then harmonizing for the last verse.

"We brought you guys a souvenir from Pennsylvania." Emmett said laughing.

"Well take it back to Pennsylvania." Rosalie said glaring at us.

"Ooh its Rosie! I don't think she likes us Sophie." I said frowning

"No I don't. Go back to the freak show town you call home." Rosalie said.

"Rose! Be nice." Esme scolded her. "So Carlisle dear, why'd you bring these two back with you?"

"Because. They begged us until we got so annoyed we just brought them with us. And the tortured Edward the whole way back." Carlisle said laughing.

"How so?" Bella asked.

"Singing Disney songs. Carlisle, Jazz, and I even joined in at once point." Emmett said with one of his huge grins.

"That would have made a lovely YouTube video." Alice said with her bell-like laugh.

"ALICE!" Sophie and I yelled and ran over to hug her.

"Hi Felivia and Sophie. I knew you'd be coming back with the boys, I just didn't tell the rest of the girls." She said laughing.

"See Sophie! I told you I was taller than Alice! You said I wasn't." I said standing straight next to Alice to see who was taller.

"Okay. You win." Sophie said and handed me a five-dollar bill.

Alice gave me a glare and looked like she wanted to rip me in half. "Sorry Alice. Don't hurt me. Please." I begged.

"Oh, alright…" Alice said laughing.

"So are we just going to let these poor girls stand out in the rain, or are we going to invite them in?" Esme said. I turned off my sansa and took off for their living room.

"Wow! This isn't anything at all like I imagined it would look like. Esme It's beautiful!" I said grinning at Esme.

"Thank you." Esme said returning my grin with a small smile.

"So wait, you know what we are then?" Bella asked.

"Duh, you're vampires." Sophie and I said with our signature grins.

"Then doesn't that mean the Volturi are going to want to come get these two?" Bella asked Carlisle.

"Probably…" He replied.

"See! I told you it would be a good idea for you to turn us!" I said to Carlisle.

Carlisle sighed. "I'll think about it." He said. "Until then, I suppose you can make yourselves at home. Rosalie, would you mind showing them where the spare room is?" he asked.

"Yes I would mind." She said and walked out the front door.

"I'll show them where it is!" Alice piped in with a huge smile.


	5. Bed Bouncing and WalMart Terrorizing

Oh Shitake Mushrooms, it's Felivia!

Chapter five

Bed bouncing and Wal-Mart Terrorizing.

SPOV

Alice led us upstairs to the farthest room to the left. It was very...frilly? Feminine? It was hard to describe. Yep. That's what the room looked like. Multi-colored poppy flowers covered the room, two king sized beds were made neatly. The bed on the left had a light blue comforter, obviously for Felivia, and the one on the right had a purple comforter, obviously pour moi!

We both ran over to Felivia's bed and started jumping on it. Emmett heard our laughter and decided to join us. All of sudden there was a loud crash. And we were in the kitchen.

"Umm...." Emmett said looking around awkwardly

"Emmett…Did you seriously just make us fall through the floor to the kitchen?" Felivia asked looking at where we landed in the massive kitchen.

"Umm…yes." Emmett said rubbing the back of his head.

"Well I was getting hungry anyways, and falling through the floor certainly beats walking down the stairs." Felivia said with a grin.

Felivia and I raided the fridge and noticed all of the gross icky food they had. "Um, Emmett…who eats this garbage? I know for a fact that no human would willingly eat this stuff…" I said holding up a can of Spam.

"Look, we don't eat it, we just buy it to make us seem more human. We buy the cheapest stuff we can find." Emmett said, still on our bed, which was now in the middle of the kitchen.

Esme, Carlisle, Jasper and Alice came into the kitchen then. "What happened? I heard a crash..." Esme asked, but then realized when she saw the bed in the kitchen that we fell through the floor, and sighed.

"Um Emmett made us fall through the floor." I said, and Felivia and I both pointed at Emmett.

Alice started laughing and then looked at the giant hole in the floor. "Lucky for us I saw that one coming and have a duplicate room down in the basement." She said.

"Exactly like the other one?" Felivia asked the horror was evident in the way she held her eyes.

"Not exactly…its not as frilly."

Felivia then broke out into a dance.

"I take it she doesn't like girly stuff." Carlisle said.

"Nope, not at all." I said laughing.

"So Carlisle. Have you thought about it yet?" Felivia asked.

"Um Felivia, we've been here long enough to destroy a room, I don't think Carlisle's had time to think about whether or not he's going to change us…" I said looking up at the hole in the floor above us.

"But, we didn't break it. He did!" Felivia said pointing at Emmett.

"But you started it." Emmett said getting up off the bed.

"Quiet Grizzly-Man." Felivia said.

"Grizzly-Man?" all three of the girls asked.

"That was his codename for the epic battle in the snow." Felivia explained.

"Jasper's was 'the pansy'." I added with a grin.

"For the last time! I am NOT a pansy!" Jasper said glaring at us.

"Yes you are." Felivia and I said.

"And what was Carlisle and Edward's codenames?" Esme asked with a small smile.

"Dr. Feel-Good." Felivia said.

"Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner." I said as Felivia said Carlisle's codename.

"Oh wow." Esme and Bella said with some bell-like laughter.

"Hey can we go grocery shopping? At Wal-Mart?" I asked with a smile.

FPOV!

We arrived at Wal-Mart and I whispered to Emmett and Sophie, "Hey guys, want to do a few of those 100 fun things to do in Wal-Mart?" Emmett and Sophie nodded eagerly.

We went over to the nearest employee that wasn't at the cash registers, and said "Hey, code 3 in the Housing department."

"What? Code 3?! OH no that's bad! Killer Bees on the loose!!" And with that, the employee took off running to the Housing Department. We decided to let Bella do the shopping for us while we goofed around.

We ran over to the Camping section and set up one of the tents. The three of us climbed inside. Every time someone walked down the aisle we'd say, "Pssttt We'll let you comein here if you bring some pillows from the Bedding Department!"

After we got yelled at for that, we ran over to the fitting rooms, and made Emmett go in one. About five minutes later, he shouted as loud as he could, "HEY WE'RE OUT OF TOILET PAPER IN HERE!" and then Sophie climbed on Emmett's back, and Emmett carried me bridal style and we took off as fast as we could while still looking human.

We made our way back to the front entrance, grabbed two of the shopping carts, and I sat in the one that Emmett was pushing. "On your marks…get set….GO!" I yelled. Sophie and Emmett took off full speed, well for Emmett his full human looking speed, around Wal-Mart. At one point, Emmett took a turn a little too sharp and I almost fell out of the shopping cart. Believe it or not Sophie won our Shopping Cart race.

We put the carts back, and then stood right in front of the Wal-Mart greeter. "Welcome to Wal-Mart! Have a great day!" all three of us said in unison every time someone walked through the doors, right before the greeter had a chance to. After the tenth time doing that the Greeter made us go somewhere else.

We went to the Cosmetics/Pharmacy section next. Emmett went over to one side, while Sophie stayed in the middle, and I ran to the opposite side of Emmett. Emmett then started playing my knock-off of Marco Polo, by shouting, "COLUMBUS!" To which Sophie and I responded, "MAGELLAN!!" and continued that until we found each other again.

After finding each other, we went to grab a few tubes of wrapping paper. We hid in aisles and behind some of the displays in the middle aisles. And at random intervals we popped out saying "I Challenge thee to a duel foul beast!! Hiya!!" and thrust our "swords" at the unsuspecting customers.

After we grew tired of that, we went to the sports section, where Emmett donned a baseball helmet. Backwards. And grabbed a pool stick. I told Sophie to go find a hunter's vest, and a teddy bear. She returned shortly after and I put the teddy bear under his other arm and helped him put on the hunting vest. At random intervals Emmett would tiptoe out from one of the aisles, yell "BANG!" and poke customers and employees with the pool stick and then drop to the floor and roll into the next aisle.

After one of the employees took the helmet, vest, pool stick, and teddy bear away from us, we went to the Candy aisle, and I decided to try to put a bag of Neminems on Layaway.

"Um you can't be serious." The lady working there said.

"I am one hundred percent serious! Don't make me call the managers in here!" Sophie shouted.

"…O…okay…there's no need for that…I'll let you put them on layaway…" the lady said taking the bag and placing it behind the counter.

Later we went back to the toy section, found a two-seater bicycle where, Emmett and Sophie got in the seats, I rode on the handlebars. And we rode around the toy section. Screaming, "I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE I WANT TO RIDE MY BIKE, I WANT TI RIDE MY BICYCLE I WANT TO RIDE IT WHERE I LIKE," until we almost ran over one of the employees. Then we told them that we were just taking it for a test ride. They didn't buy it, so we had to put the bike back and we started walking around trying to find Bella, Jasper, Carlisle, Alice and Esme.

And as soon as we found the rest of our group, an announcement over the intercom started. All three of us fell to the ground into the fetal position screaming, "MAKE THE VOICES STOP MOMMY!! MAKE THEM STOP!!!!"

And after all that, the only thing that got us kicked out was the "Make the voices stop." Moment. And we were forever banned from that Wal-Mart.

We returned to the Cullen house, made, then ate dinner, and went down to the basement to go sleep.


	6. Pancakes, Fainting Spells, and Changes

Oh Shitake Mushrooms. It's Felivia and her obsessed neighbor!

Chapter six.

Pancakes, fainting spells, and changes.

I woke up freezing cold. "Gah! It's cold!" I said as I rubbed my arms. Sophie was mimicking my actions in her king-sized bed that was next to mine.

"Why's it so cold in here?" Sophie asked.

"Hah you think I know why." I said laughing.

Just then Carlisle, Emmett and Alice came in. "Oh, right. You get cold." Emmett said looking worried at the fact that we were both shivering. "Your lips are blue." He said laughing.

"Em, that's not funny." Carlisle said looking really concerned. "Maybe you two should take a hot shower…" He continued.

"Together? Ew Carlisle! We're not lesbians!" Sophie said looking appalled at the fact that Carlisle thought us as lesbians.

"What? No, no, no! That's not what I meant Sophie. We have more than one bathroom in this house, in fact, everyone has their own bathroom." Carlisle said waving his hands in front of him.

"Oh…" Sophie said blushing.

I grabbed my favorite jeans, and my favorite t-shirt and ran upstairs to go find the nearest bathroom. "Upstairs or on the first floor Carlisle?" I called behind me.

"Upstairs." He said laughing.

I ran straight into the nearest bedroom. It was Alice and Jasper's. Jasper was sitting at the desk reading some really thick book. "Hey Jasper, do you mind if I take a shower in your guys' bathroom?" I asked.

"Not at all." Jasper said getting up to go somewhere.

"Thankies!" I shouted and ran straight into the bathroom. After my nice hot shower I donned my Twilight Tee and my dark blue jeans with butterfly and Rose designs on the left leg in silver and gold. I combed my short pomegranate red hair, and then examined myself in the mirror. My brown eyes were wide, and my cheeks, as always, were red. I opened the door and saw Alice sitting on the bed.

"…Nice shirt." She said laughing.

"Oh…I just grabbed a shirt without thinking." I said blushing.

"And it just happened to be one that has all 8 of us on the front of it, surrounding the Cullen Crest?" She said the room filling with her laughter.

"Exactly!" I said with a grin. I ran downstairs, and smelled freshly baked pancakes. "Oh my gosh! Sekacnap!!" I shouted and ran even faster to the kitchen and sat down at their rarely used table.

"Sekacnap?" Emmett asked, turning around. He was wearing a chef hat, and an apron that said, "I'm a super awesome Vampire chef!" in his own writing.

"It's pancakes backwards." I said grinning. "Hurry up man I'm starving!"

"You're an impatient girl…" Emmett said as he placed two of the pancakes on my plate. I dumped about half a bottle of syrup on them and cut them into triangular pieces. "Oh wow, would you like a little bit of pancake with your syrup there?"

"No, I'm fine with this." I said smiling. Then Sophie came in, sat down next to me, and Emmett put the other two pancakes on her plate.

"I haven't had pancakes in forever!" She said and didn't even bother cutting up the pancakes, she just stabbed it with a fork and took bites off of it.

After eating breakfast, Carlisle came in and sat down across from us. "Okay girls. I've thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it." He said.

"And???" Sophie and I said, leaning forward on the table eagerly.

"I just don't know." He said looking at the table.

"Come on Carlisle!! Please?" I begged.

"How old are you two?" He asked.

"Um, I'm sixteen. Turning seventeen in about two months." I said.

"And you Sophie?" He asked.

"Fifteen." She said with a smile.

"I just don't know if I'm comfortable changing you two when you're so young…" He trailed off.

"You changed Edward when HE was seventeen!" I said glaring at him.

"Well yes, but that was different. He was on the verge of death. You two are perfectly healthy…at least physically, I'm still curious as to your mental health…" He said.

"No we're not! We're sick. Right Sophie?" I said, and pretended to cough.

"You're really horrible at lying." Carlisle said laughing.

Just then Sophie randomly fell out of her chair. "Sophie, stop faking it. He's onto us…S-Sophie?" I said. "Carlisle! What the hell just happened?" I asked.

"I think she fainted…" He said and placed his hand on her forehead. "I think she has a fever too…" He trailed off and a worried look crossed his face. He picked her up, carried her to the living room and placed her on the couch. "Alice, go grab my medical bag." He said. About three seconds later Alice came in with his bag and a real cute nurse outfit on. He dug out a thermometer, and shoved it under Sophie's tongue. He pulled it out after a minute or two. "Yeah, her fever's up to 106…Edward! Get down here." He said.

Edward came downstairs and saw Sophie on the couch. "What happened?"

"I don't know, she randomly fainted." Carlisle said looking confused.

"Well shouldn't we try to get her fever down?" Edward said. His tone wasn't angry or annoyed for once.

"Well yes, but I don't think our cold water is working, so we can't give her a cold bath…and if we put her into a tub of ice she'd probably end up freezing to death..." Carlisle trailed off.

"No Carlisle. No…I'm not doing that." Edward said looking scared. "Get Emmett or someone to do it."

"Do what?" Emmett and I asked at the same time, in the same confused tone.

"He wants me to basically strip down to my boxers and lie next to her to try to bring her fever down." Edward explained.

"Oh Edward, are you really that scared of her to let her…" I started, but didn't want to finish the sentence.

"Fine, fine. I'll do it." Edward said and took his shirt off, followed by his pants.

Emmett took off to find a blanket. I stood there, too stunned to move. "Carlisle, is she going to be alright?"

"I…I'm not really sure what's wrong with her…so I can't give you a definite answer." He said, looking at the couch, trying to avoid making eye contact with me.

Edward picked her up, laid himself down on the couch, and laid her on top of him, hugging her close to him. "The only reason I'm doing this is because I don't want her to get too sick."

"Edward, what exactly is going through her mind right now?" Carlisle asked as he tried to think of what could be wrong with her.

"Um…I really don't know, its kind of like…you know how with radios, stations get fuzzy and you get bits and pieces of the thing that's playing on it. Well that's kind of what her mind sounds like right now…" Edward said and rubbed her back. "And it's nothing that will help us figure out what's wrong with her."

"Sophie, can you hear us? If so then, make a noise, move some part of your body, do something." I said sitting down next to Carlisle who was kneeling next to the couch.

She moved her head slightly to the right. Edward and Carlisle exchanged a glance. "Felivia…I think Sophie may get what you two wanted if things keep going like this…" Carlisle trailed off, the worried look back on his face.

"Oh that son of a biscuit eater!" I said glaring at Sophie.

"Emmett, what exactly did you put in those pancakes?" Edward asked.

"Um…pancake mix, eggs, and water. Why?" Emmett said coming back in the room with a blanket. He threw it at Edward; he caught it and covered Sophie and himself with it.

"Did you use tap water, or bottled water, or water from our pitcher in the fridge?" Carlisle asked.

"Tap…Why?" Emmett said cocking his head to the side.

"Because, I think her body's used to the water she has back home, and the water from here might be what's making her sick…" Carlisle trailed off.

"Oh…" Emmett said, his brow furrowing.

"Carlisle, is she going to be okay, or not?" I asked again.

"I…I think so…but, I'm not too sure right now…" He said and shoved the thermometer back into her mouth. He pulled it out after a few minutes. "Okay, her fever's down to 100.3…" Carlisle said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah." Edward said, "Does this mean I can stop being half naked with her now?"

"Not yet Edward. Unless Alice or Emmett is willing to trade places with you…"

"No…" Sophie said quietly and clung to Edward.

Edward sighed, but stayed where he was.

"Edward, do you think we should change her, or just let her remain human?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know…Felivia might want to kill us if we did that without changing her." Edward said with a small glance to me.

"Go ahead and do it." I said.

"…You sure, you're not going to throw a fit?" Carlisle said with a small smile.

"No I promise." I said.

"Alright…" Carlisle said.

Edward picked Sophie up, placed her back on the couch, and put his pants and shirt back on. Carlisle covered her up, and Edward then placed his mouth on her neck. "You sure Felivia?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes now just do it." I said.

"Do you want me to bite you afterwards." Carlisle laughed.

"Kind of…but you don't have to." I said.

Edward then bit into her neck. Sophie lifted her body up off of the couch and made a small noise. She sounded as if she was in pain. Her head thrashed from side to side and her body continued lifting up off the couch, and then falling back down. She started screaming out in pain.


	7. Transformations and Rosalies Exploding

SPOV:

One second I was talking to Carlisle and Felivia, the other I was on the floor, burning. Everything was fuzzy, and burning, but than it was cold and clear. I had no clue what was going on.

I heard mumbling but it was impossible to figure out. Things were becoming clearer, just as I was about to open my eyes I felt a shooting pain through my neck. All I could feel was the burning coming back, only a million and two times worse. But I'd have to say out of everything that was happening, the worst possible thing was, I had no clue what was happening to me. Was I dieing? Was I in a fire? An oven? Were they roasting me on a stick like a pig?

The next three days were absolute torture, after three days the pain ever so slowly started to subside. Once I regained consciousness, I looked around forgetting where I was for a second.

"She's up!" I heard someone say.  
I shook my head "W-what?" I asked.

"Well you see..." Began Edward," you fainted because Emmett made pancakes with tap water, which almost killed you, and than I changed you into a vampire and for three days you were in pain so I waited here making sure you were okay. And now you're a vampire.■ He said quickly and matter-of-factly.

"What about Feli-" But I was cut off by Felivia who was bouncing.

"OH MY FUCKING CARLISLE! SOPHIE YOU▓RE AWAKE!!!!" She said tackling me to the ground.

"Hoof" I managed to escape out of my mouth. I got up and saw Emmett and Edward and glomped both of them. "EMMETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, EDWAAAAAAAARD!"

Felivia POV:  
Rosalie had been glaring at me all day. Stupid bitch. I wish she would just explode. I glared at her. The word "Bang" appeared over her head in bold letters and she asploded. HOLY FRICK WHAT JUST HAPPENED, I scream though. Every turned to look at me. "Err, uh. Apparently I make things explode," I said looking down awkwardly.

Everyone stared.

"Well, this is awkward." Stated Mr. Obvious Edward.

⌠...Dude, you blew up my wife...oh well, she was a bit on the bitchy side anyways, and never really liked being goofy with me like you." Said Emmett.

"Yay!" I squealed and jump-humped onto Emmett, wrapping my legs around his waist.

Sophie▓s POV:

"We should go mini-golfing!" I suggested.

"Ooh! How about in Florida? There is this really cute Pirate Mini-golf place in Orlando, Florida! " Bella offered.

Edward, Emmett, Bella, Felivia, and I piled into Bella's Blue 2008 Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren Roadster (A/N AWESOME CAR! Look it up!!), and Jasper, Alice Carlisle, and Esme went in Alice's Porsche.

Half way through the car ride, Emmett decided to turn on the radio, A*Teens "Bouncing off the ceiling" blasted through the speakers. Felivia called Jasper and informed him of the station and had him put the phone on speaker so we could all sing along.

"Up, upside down, upside down, upside down" We all started to sing.

"My grades are down from A's to B's, I'm way behind in history" I sung.

"I lost myself in fantasies, of you and me together," Sang Felivia to Emmett.

"I don't know why, but dreaming' is all I do(do), I won't get by, by mere imagination!" We heard, what sounded like Esme and Alice singing.

"Up side down, bouncing off the ceiling, inside out, stranger to this feeling, got no clue. What I should do? I'll go crazy if I can't get next to you," We all decided to sing the chorus.

"(To you) My teacher said to concentrate. So what, his name is Peter the Great. Kings and queens will have to wait, 'Cause I don't have for ever." Edward sang to Bella, haha was actually getting into it!!

"Now I wish that I could walk right up to you. Each time to try the some old hesitation." Jasper and Carlisle sang in unison.

""Up side down, bouncing off the ceiling, inside out, stranger to this feeling, got no clue. What I should do? I'll go crazy if I can't get next to you" We sang the chorus together again.

"(To you) Some how, someday, you will love me too. One day will be the day when all my dreams come true." Bella sang back to Edward.

"Up, upside down, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Upside down, bouncing off the ceiling, inside out, stranger to this feeling got no clue. What I should do? I'll go crazy if I can't get next to you" Sang Alice, Felivia, Bella, Esme, and I.

"Up side down, bouncing off the ceiling, inside out, stranger to this feeling got no clue. What I should do? I'll go crazy if I can't get next to, I'll go crazy if I can't get next to, I'll go crazy if I can't get next to you." Sang Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, and Edward right back.

We all looked around at each other and burst out laughing at the teenage love song.

By the time we'd tired ourselves out singing we were in Alabama, I punched Emmett, "KENTUCKY!" I shouted out.

Grizzly-man looked at me with the most confused expression, "What the fuck, psycho-neighbor?" He asked.

"When you see a license plate that is out from a different state, ha! That rhymes! Anyways, you have to punch someone and call out the state." I said matter-of-factly.

By the time we got to Florida, we were all extremely sore, and Felivia was black and blue, her being the only non-vampire in our group. We parked the cars and ran to the entrance taking pictures of us in the handcuff things and by the other pirated themed things. 


	8. MiniGolf Madness, and Time Warps

Chapter 8

Mini-Golf Madness, and Time Warps and Sweet Transvestites

Felivia's Point of View:

I grabbed my light blue ball, placed it on center whole in the rubber 'tee' thing. I swung the golf club thing up over my shoulder, yelled out 'FORE!' and took a really hard swing. Surprisingly my ball didn't fly everywhere, it stayed on the green and then flew right to the back of the wooden box thing with the pirate face painted on it. It rolled back down, almost went into the 'FREE GAME!!' hole, and somehow curved to the left and landed in one that would give me an extra 7 points. "OH YOU SON OF A BISCUIT EATER!" I shouted and threw my golf club thing down to the ground.

"Okay…that's the game." Carlisle said laughing as I started jumping up and down on the poor golf club. Carlisle was acting as score-keeper, so he held up the card and said, "Felivia, you did the worst out of all of us, you got a 63…Emmett, you came right after her with 55…Jasper, you got a 40…Sophie, you got a 35, Edward, you got a 33, Esme, you got a 31…I got a 29…and Alice…she won…with a grand total of 18…because she got a hole in one on every hole..." Carlisle said and then took me away from my golf club.

"I pick what we get to do when we get back to Forks!" I shouted and jumped back into the car. We had a repeat of the trip down there, only all in reverse, and we were all singing instead of Upside down bouncing off the ceiling we were singing Mama Mia, yes, another A*teens song.

As soon as we pulled into the driveway and parked, I ran into their house and searched their gigantic movie case, trying to find one of my top three favorite movies. "FOUND IT!" I shouted and popped it into their DVD player. Emmett helped me set up the TV so we could watch it…and then set up the Surround Sound.

Jasper almost jumped over the couch, but Alice grabbed him and forced him to stay, when he saw what movie I had picked. He could tell by the set of lips that had been singing Science Fiction Double Feature. Shortly after the song started, the title of the movie, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, appeared. Emmett, Sophie and I all started singing…and then sang Dammit Janet when that song followed the first song. Emmett and I laughed at the lame flat tire sound, and the "you could tell it was fake" lightning in the background. And then quoted the most stupidest line in the movie, Emmett: "You're wet…" Me: "yes…it's raining."

Then shortly after, when the Time Warp started playing Emmett, Sophie, Carlisle, Alice, Bella and I all stood up. Bella made Edward get up too. Emmett and Alice started singing Riffraff, and Magenta's parts, and mimicking their exact dance moves, and at the chorus, all seven of us did the dance moves Edward's were very...how should I put it...un enthusiastic.

Emmett: "It's astounding, time is fleeting  
Madness takes its toll But listen closely,"

Alice: "not for very much longer"

Emmett: "I've got to keep control I remember doing the Time Warp Drinking those moments when the blackness would hit me and the void would be calling"

Everyone: "Let's do the time warp again...  
Let's do the time warp again!"

Carlisle: "It's just a jump to the left"

Everyone: "And then a step to the right"

Carlisle: "put your hands on your hips"

Everyone: "You bring your knees in tight  
Then it's a pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,  
Let's do the Time Warp again!"

Alice: "It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me  
So you can't see me, no not at all  
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention  
Well-secluded, I see all"

Emmett: "With a bit of a mind flip"

Alice: "You're there in the time slip"

Emmett: "And nothing can ever be the same"

Alice: "You're spaced out on sensation,"

Emmett: "like you're under sedation"  
Everyone: "Let's do the Time Warp again!"

Sophie: "Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think  
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink  
He shook me up, he took me by surprise  
He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes.  
He stared at me and I felt a change  
Time meant nothing, never would again"

Everyone: "Let's do the Time Warp again!

Lets do the Time Warp Again!"

Carlisle: "It's just a jump to the left"

Everyone: "And then a step to the right"

Carlisle: "put your hands on your hips"

Everyone: "You bring your knees in tight  
Then it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,  
Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!"

Just then Sophie started tap dancing,

Everyone: "Let's do the Time Warp Again!

Lets do the Time Warp Again!"

And then Carlisle jumped up on the coffee table afterwards. And did the Time Warp Dance.

Carlisle: "It's just a jump to the left"

Everyone: "And then a step to the right"  
Carlisle: "put your hands on your hips"

Everyone: "You bring your knees in tight  
Then it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,  
Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!"

And with that, we all fell over onto the ground. Emmett quickly ran up stairs before the next song started. My personal favorite: Sweet Transvestite.

He came down the stairs, dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter, with a vampire type cape, with a corset type shirt, a bikini type bottom, fishnet stockings with matching gloves, and a pearl necklace underneath, and a whole crap-load of makeup on. His curly hair made him look almost exactly like Frank-N-Furter. He started singing…with Frank-N-Furter's accent.

"How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman  
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked  
He thought you were the candy man.  
Don't get strung out by the way that I look,  
Don't judge a book by its cover  
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,  
But by night I'm one hell of a lover"

And with that Emmett stripped himself of the cape, and exposed the rest of his outfit.

"I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.  
So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound  
You look like you're both pretty groovy  
Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal  
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie."

Carlisle piped in with, "I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?  
We're both in a bit of a hurry.  
We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car  
we don't want to be any worry."

Emmett continued, "Well you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?  
Well babies, don't you panic.  
By the light of the night when it all seem alright  
I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?  
I could show you my favorite obsession.  
I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan  
and he's good for relieving my tension

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

So come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab.  
I see you shiver with antici... pation!  
But maybe the rain isn't really to blame  
So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom."

And then he sat on the couch next to Jasper, and wrapped his arm around him. "Hey Jazzy, you like your sweet transvestite brother?" he asked winking at Jasper, then making kissing noises, followed by him wiggling his eyebrows and nudging him with his elbow.

Jasper squirmed away from him and hid behind the couch. "I thought we destroyed this movie Esme!" he said from his hiding spot.

The movie continued onwards, with everyone but Jasper and Esme singing along with the songs. Edward told us that Esme and Jasper absolutely loathed The Rocky Horror Picture Show; they just never got into it. The movie continued, and when Toucha-Toucha-Toucha Touch Me started playing, I serenaded Emmett, who was still wearing his Frank-N-Furter outfit might I add. Then I grabbed his hands and placing them on my chest and continued singing the song for him. Jasper and Esme sneaked off into the kitchen and then escaped upstairs. We responded by singing a long as loud, and horribly off key as possible.


	9. trips to Candyland followed with Twister

A/N Sorry for any confusion in past chappies, Bella is still human, as is Felivia.

sPOV:

After the movie was over and our sides hurt from laughing at our ridiculous costumes, Alice started jumping up and down.

"What is it, Alice?" Jasper asked curiously.

"Oh! Oh! My turn, my turn! We're playing Candy Land!!!" She said squealing and clapping her hands.

We all sighed and Emmett pulled out the board game from the hall closet. He walked back to the coffee table shook his butt a little in his sexy outfit for Jasper who cringed away and set up the game.

Bella looked at her watch, "Hey Edward, I'm gonna go home, it's kind of late, okay?" She got up and kissed him gently and she left. I smiled to myself.

I opened the box, "Uhh, there's only 4 pieces.." I observed.

"Okay, well, Felivia and Emmett, Jasper and Alice, Esme and Carlisle, and I guess me and you." Edward instructed, directing his crooked smile to me.

"I CALL BLUE!" Emmett, and Felivia yelled in unison.

Alice, and Jasper were the green player.

Carlisle, and Esme were the yellow player.

And Edward and I were the red player.

As the game started Felivia and Emmett got more and more comfortable. Felivia was sitting on Emmett's lap whisper-giggling into his ear..something about his..outfit, and how he should...WEAR IT MORE, only less make up? Dear god..

Felivia, and Emmett went first, the picked an their card and it was orange.  
"Yay!" Squealed Felivia high-fiving Emmett, "We get to take the rainbow bridge, we get to take the rainbow bridge!" She stuck her tongue out.

15 minutes into the game....

"Stupid Licorice lord!" I exclaimed when Hamlet(name for our player, the red one) had to lose a turn. Edward chuckeled and I stuck my tongue out at him. He retaliated with a pillow to my shoulder, so hit him back with another pillow. He tackeled me off the couch so I fought back.

A few minutes later we were intertwined in the most awkward of positions, covered in feathers, and laughing. Everyone was staring at us, I waved nervously and we went back to the couch to continue the game.

Carlisle, and Esme's player, Tina, was winning so far, the only thing they needed wasd a red card to get to Candy Castle, but that didn't seem to be happening.

Alice, and Jasper's player who was a boy apparently, was named Patrick. He was by Princes Frostine, and in second place.

Emmett, and Felivia's player, Dean, was in third and were in the Lollipop Woods. And of course, Hamlet couldn't even get past the licroice man.

As if reading my mind, oh wait he can...Edward suggested we just call it quits, and pronounce Tina the winner and play Twister!

Not wanting to leave Emmett's lap, Felivia and Emmett decided to be the spinners, so they would be able to stay in their oh so comfy positions. Jasper, Alice, and Carlisle were on one side of the mat, and Esme, Edward, and I were on the other.

"Okay!" Announced Emmett, as he spum the wheel, "Right ear blue!"

Felivia and I stared at him in complete and utter confusion.

"WHAT?" We both asked in unison.

"It's kind of a special edition version, the regular Twister was a lot less challenging" Alice explained, waving the thought of a normal game away with her hand.

We both nodded as if we completely understood where she was coming from. We went back to playing the game, most of the time some of us had to share the samecolored dot which was really weird when they called Nose, yellow.

Thirty into the epic Twister game, I somehow ended up in a bridge, my left pinky toe on yellow, and right big toe on green.

Esme was in a frog like position, but her ear was on blue as was her right foot.

Jasper had, god knows how, gotten under my back with his left foot and was doing a damn good job of balancing.

And Edward had both his arms and legs on the red dots.

Alice and Carlisle had given up after 15minutes and quit.

And of course, Felivia was cuddled into Emmett's chest, asleep.

Edward and I were in a death stare waiting for either of us to slip up. Jasper's foot slipped on the mat which flew up kicking me in the back which made me cringe and fall, Edward, caught me, and Esme was left standing, the new winner. 


	10. Phonecalls, Food Fights, and Detention

FPOV:

I rolled over, and fell to the floor. ⌠Oof! Wait, where am I? What happened?■ I said jumping up off the floor, only to fall over again due to the blanket that was tangled around my legs. ⌠Ouch!■ Next thing I knew, I was in Emmett▓s arms.

⌠You okay kiddo?■ He asked with a smile.

⌠Gah bad memories! My old dentist used to call me ▒Kiddo▓■ I said and squirmed in Emmett▓s arms. ⌠Why are you still dressed as Frank-N-Furter?■ I asked curiously, ⌠Wait, what day, and time is it?■ I asked trying to find an alarm clock.

⌠Um it▓s Monday, at about five thirty in the morning.■ Emmett said laughing.

I clamped a hand over my mouth, and mumbled into my hand. ⌠I have morning breath┘and I▓m covered in ▒night gunk▓ can I go shower and brush my teeth?■

⌠Night gunk?■ Emmett said raising his eyebrow.

⌠Like, when people sweat while they sleep, and it makes them all gross┘that▓s what I call ▒night gunk.▓■ I said with a grin, and jumped out of his arms and ran towards his bathroom.

I closed the door, stripped myself of the clothes from the day before, took a quick shower jumped back out of the shower, and wrapped a towel around myself. ⌠AW FRICKERNUGGETS!■ I shouted.

Emmett knocked on the door and asked, ⌠Everything okay in there?■

I opened the door, still only wearing a towel, and said, ⌠I didn▓t grab any clothes.■ And then walked past him, leaned forward to get under his bed, found my suitcase and dug for my clothes. I squealed as my towel fell off of me and tried to cover myself with my hands.

Emmett started laughing. I quickly dressed myself and turned around. ⌠So Emmy, did you miss me?■

⌠Oh yes! I missed you so much in those 23 minutes you were gone.■ He said with another grin.

⌠So what▓re we doing today?■ I asked and jumped up on his bed.

⌠Well, I have to go to school┘■ Emmett said.

Just then my phone started vibrating on the floor. I dove for it to check the Caller ID. ⌠Gah Schist! Its my dad!■ I said and answered the phone. ⌠Hi Daddy.■ I said trying to sound cute and innocent.

⌠Hey sweet pea I just wanted to let you know that I made it down here safely.■

Down there┘Oh Yeah! My dad went to Florida for a few weeks. ⌠That▓s great Dad, tell Mark I say hi even though he doesn▓t know who I am┘■

⌠Okay┘I▓ll be home in a few weeks. Don▓t get too lonely without me.■

⌠Don▓t worry dad, I won▓t.■ I said with a glance over at Emmett and a shy smile. I knew he could hear every word of my conversation, even if the phone wasn▓t on speaker mode.

⌠Bye Hon I▓ll call you soon. I have to go.■ He said and hung up after I said, goodbye, love you, talk to you later.

⌠Okay, so Emmy can I go to school with you?■ I said with a big smile.

⌠Umm I guess┘Maybe Sophie can come too.■ Emmett said laughing. We walked down the stairs hand in hand. I glanced into the living room and saw that Carlisle and Esme were watching The Breakfast Club. Esme was reciting it word for word, and Carlisle looked rather bored with it.

⌠GOOD MORNING!!■ I yelled and jumped over the couch, landing in between them.

⌠Good morning Felivia┘■ Carlisle said with a smile. ⌠So are you going to stay here with Esme and I or go to school with the others?■

⌠School.■ I said with a smile.

So I climbed into Emmett▓s Jeep and he drove to the school. We arrived, and met up with Bella. Bella gave Edward a small kiss. Sophie was giving her a death glare and was probably thinking something along the lines of ⌠I want to kill that beeatch!■

⌠You▓re right Felivia┘■ Edward said laughing.

⌠Okay, so lets go do us some Learning▓s!■ I shouted, punching the air.

⌠Okay then.■ Emmett said. Throughout the day I followed Emmett to his classes, claiming to be his┘some odd relative, who only spoke in Spanish. So I just sat there, shouting out random phrases that I▓ve learned to say in Spanish. Later when one of the teachers asked what my problem was, Emmett explained that I had Turrets syndrome and that I shout out random phrases at random times. During the middle of his algebra class Emmett elbowed me and whispered, ⌠Shout something obnoxious, like ⌠Good evening, my penis is very large■ if you know how to say that.■

⌠Buenas noches seЯor! Mi pene es muy grande!■ I stood up and shouted. Emmett started laughing extremely loud as one kid▓s eyes widened.

He whispered, ⌠That kid▓s in Spanish 4, he knows what you just said┘and he can▓t believe you just said that. Though I▓m no Edward, I can▓t read minds, but judging by the look on his face, that▓s what he▓s thinking.

After a fun filled algebra class, came Emmett▓s least favorite ▒class▓┘Lunch. I was excited because, I skipped breakfast and my stomach was doing a very bad impression of Emmett when he growls. Sophie was being jittery in her seat. ⌠Sophie, calm down.■ I said laughing.

⌠Calm down? Hah that▓s easy for you to say, you▓re not being tortured with the scent of 100 plus people▓s blood!■ She said and started rocking back and forth in her chair. Just then someone opened the door to the Cafeteria that lead outside. A gust of cold air blew in, making me shiver, and sending someone▓s scent in our direction. Sophie smiled, and started to get up out of her chair.

⌠Sophie. No.■ Edward said and wrapped his arms around her, making it look like he was hugging her from behind her chair. ⌠Jasper, would you mind helping me calm her down a little bit?■ Edward continued as Sophie struggled against his grip.

Jasper seemed to have calmed her down, and Emmett, thinking it would help, threw some of his taco meat at Sophie▓s face. She threw her ▒Mexican▓ pizza at Emmett; he ducked out of the way. It hit some unsuspecting student in the back of the head.

⌠Who┘Threw┘that?■ The student asked. Emmett pointed at Sophie, and Sophie pointed at Emmett. The student took some of his nachos and threw them at our table.

⌠FOOD FIIIGHT!■ Emmett and I shouted at the same time, and just started wailing food at people. Sophie got a whole bunch of nacho cheese in her hair. Alice got salsa in her hair. I got hot sauce all over my shirt, and lettuce all in my hair. Emmett kept ducking and dodging the food that was thrown at him and most of it hit either Sophie or me.

⌠What is going on in here!■ the principal said as he walked in to the cafeteria. Emmett and I exchanged a wide-eyed glance and watched as someone▓s milk carton went flying towards the principal.

⌠Uh-oh.■ Emmett and I whispered.

⌠Who started this!■ the principal asked. Everyone turned around and pointed at our table. ⌠Detention!■ he shouted and then Jasper, Alice Sophie and Edward all gave Emmett and I death glares.

⌠Way┘to┘go.■ They said.

We waited out the day, and then we all went to the library to sit through our detention.

After the principal left, Emmett whispered, ⌠Hey, Liv, do you want to do an extremely stupid knock-off of The Breakfast Club?■ He said, after I nodded we both ran up the stairs and tried to find something similar to the stereo system thing in The Breakfast Club. We finally found it, and Emmett turned on some crazy 80▓s music. Emmett started dancing like Bender did in the movie, while I started dancing like Allison did. And then Edward and Jasper figured they▓d join in on the fun and the three of them stood on the railing of the upper level, and mimicked the moves of the three boys from the movie. Alice and I started doing the dances Claire and Allison did and Alice laughed when I couldn▓t dance as well as she could.

Surprisingly the principal never came back, so when the time came, we all left, and went back to the Cullen▓s house. 


	11. Exploding BBQ Sauce & A Trip to the Fair

A/N: "Okay, a few things about this chappie. 1) The recipe used for the bbq sauce, is actually my Dad's recipe. He created it. Therefore it's His! No one can use it! SO DON'T EVEN THINKABOUT IT! 2) I actually do act like this when I'm hyper, and I do the 'mini jumping jacks without arm motions' all the time when I'm thinking about stuff…In fact I did it in wal-mart a few hours befor this was written. And 3) I really am terrified of heights…and Ferris wheels. So this is really how I'd be reacting if most of these things happened in real life. And 4) the fair scene is based on the local fair that I have in my town every summer, and YES the workers (The Mexican ones at least.) Do not yell at us for doing this kind of stuff. My friends and I did it last year. And that's all my friends." ~ Your friendly neighborhood Felivia #Yes that's a play off of "your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. XD#

Chapter 11

Exploding BBQ sauce, and a trip to the Fair.

FPOV

I was sitting in the recently cleaned kitchen with Emmett, Sophie, Carlisle and Alice. I was drinking an energy drink. Which Sophie said, "Emmett? Why'd you let Felivia near an energy drink? Do you not see how crazy she gets when she's not full of caffeine and all that other junk?" in response to seeing me, spinning on one of the bar stool type chairs. Everything in the room was looking like a giant blur of colors and shapes and I was shouting, "WHEE!" Carlisle came over and stopped the chair from spinning.

"Liv, I think maybe you should stop before you blow chunks all over Esme's nice clean kitchen." Scolded Carlisle.

"Well it'd be impossibibble for me to blow chunks. There's nothing in my stomach!" I said with what I call my 'hyper' giggle and tried to spin around again, Carlisle stopped the chair again. "Hey Carl I'm hungry. Can I get me some foods?" I said with another hyper giggle.

"…D…did you just call me Carl?" He asked looking appalled at the fact that I'd given him a nickname.

"Well, your name can be broken down in four ways, Carl, Lisle, Lislie, or Carly. Though Lislie is fun to say, I knew you'd hate it, and Carly is a girls name so you wouldn't like it even more, and Lisle is well…sounds like an old person name, and Carl is the best out of those four." I explained with a grin.

"Umm why not just call me Carlisle."

"Because…Carlisle is such an old persons name!" I said with another laugh.

Carlisle sighed, and then asked, "What do you want to eat?"

"Hmm I know an awesome recipe for barbeque ham!" I said and jumped off the chair, which started spinning after I jumped off. I ran to the fridge, opened the door, and started doing mini jumping jacks only without the hand motions. "Okay, lets see…we got a onjon, we got apricot and pineapple preserves, we has butter, we got chipped ham," I grabbed those objects, and then raided their cupboards and continued listing off the ingredients, "we gots brown sugar, we got Open Pit sauce…and I think that's it." I said and jumped to get the cupboard shut.

"And what are we going to do with these things?" Emmett asked looking slightly scared.

"Combine them…and then divide by zero thus making the world explode!" I said with a super huge grin.

"Okay then…" Emmett said with what seemed to be a forced smile.

I chopped up the butter, and threw it into a large pot. "Emmy! Can you chop up that onion for me?" I asked and he grabbed a really big butcher knife type thing and started chopping it up. Just then Bella walked into the kitchen.

"What's going on…?" Bella asked, Emmett waved at her with the hand he was holding the knife in and went back to chopping the onion.

"We's making barbeque sauce!" I said watching the butter melt.

Emmett walked over with the cutting board in hand and dumped the onions in.

I grabbed a whisk, and started to whisk up the onions and butter.

"Whisk it Felivia! Whisk it! Whisk it!!!" Emmett cheered with a grin.

"Okay…I'll be going out there now…" Bella said and backed out of the kitchen slowly. Carlisle ran after her saying, something that sounded like "I'm getting out of here too, these three are insane."

Alice left to go bother Jasper, so it was just Sophie, Emmett and I in the kitchen. I dumped about half a bag of brown sugar into the pot, followed by the bottle of open pit, followed by the Apricot Pineapple preserves. I whisked it some more and then let it simmer for about a half hour. I told Emmett I had to go use the facilities and then ran upstairs. I came back down about 5 minutes later, and saw that either Emmett or Sophie turned the heat up all the way.

"Guys! You're not supposed to turn it up all the wa—" before my sentence was finished, the barbeque sauce exploded all over the walls. It splattered onto the ceiling, on the walls, and on Emmett, Sophie and I.

Esme came running into the room and stopped mid-step just before entering the kitchen. "Oh…My…KITCHEN!!" She shouted and looked as if she would cry. She probably would have if she had been able to. "What happened?"

"I—um The barbeque sauce…" Emmett started talking so fast his words slurred together,

"Emmett turned the heat up…" Sophie continued just as fast,

"And it went boom." I finished up talking at a normal human pace, my voice very serious.

Esme, still looking as if she'd cry, said, "Clean this up. Now!" and walked out of the kitchen.

We started whistling Colonel Bogeys March while cleaning up the kitchen. Emmett making smart-ass remarks about my height because I couldn't reach up to clean the cupboards. I jumped on his shoulders and started cleaning them. Emmett thought it'd be funny to grab onto my thighs, and throw me up in the air. I'm terrified of heights, and I started screaming like crazy and I started crying. Emmett caught me and laughed at my horrified expression. I clung to him and cried even more. "Emmett! I'm terrified of heights! Don't ever do that again!"

We cleaned up the rest of the kitchen, and then Carlisle came in and said, "Well I was going to see if you guys were going to finish up soon so we could all go to the local fair…but it looks like you just finished up."

"The fair? I LOVE FAIRS!" I said and started doing another mini jumping jack movement without the arm motions. So we all piled into the cars and drove to the fair. I was literally bouncing up and down in my seat with anticipation. As soon as we parked and were in the Fairgrounds I grabbed Emmett's hand and tried to yank him forward.

"I think we should stick together for a little while." Jasper said laughing at my excitement.

"I say we ride…the spaceship ride…I think it's called the Orbiter." Emmett said and took off for that general direction. Esme and Bella were too chicken to ride it and Edward didn't want Bella to be alone with just Esme, so it was just Carlisle, Jasper, Alice, Sophie, Emmett and I on the ride.

"What exactly does this ride do?" Sophie asked curiously.

"You like, lean back on the wall, and it spins around really fast, making you stick to the wall and it's freaking fun!" Emmett and I said with a huge grin. When we noticed that the person operating it was Mexican, we grinned at each other. We both knew that now we could do pretty much whatever we wanted and not get yelled at. We were conveniently located right behind the operators seat, meaning he couldn't see us. So when the ride started spinning, Emmett and I climbed up towards the top of the pads we were on, and sat down on them, looking at the floor. Carlisle and Jasper saw us, Jasper decided to join in, and Carlisle shook his head and sighed. When the ride picked up speed, Emmett scooted downwards and stood up on the wall holding onto the railing in front of him. Jasper followed his example; Sophie, Alice and I somehow managed to get turned upside down. After I almost puked on the ride from being upside down, Emmett quickly helped me to get right side up just before the ride stopped and we went falling back down to the floor. "That was great!" Jasper, Emmett, Sophie, Alice and I all shouted together with a grin.

Alice suggested we ride The Hurricane next, that time I asked what it did.

"It…like spins around, and there's like 4 arm things with four seats per thing. And while it's spinning around the arms go up and down. Oh and the bigger person should probably sit on the outside, unless the smaller person wants to get squished to death." Alice said with a smile. Once again, Bella sat out. Edward told her that he wanted to ride the ride, but if she wanted him to he'd sit out for her. She told him to go ahead.

So, Sophie, Edward, Emmett and I sat in one car, Emmett and I up front, Sophie and Edward in the back, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme sat in the one behind ours, with Alice and Jasper in the front, and Carlisle and Esme in the back. After the first few times of rising up then falling down, I started getting both sick, and terrified. It went up really high, and up and down motions tend to make me sick. All the while, I was slamming into Emmett, while Sophie was slamming into Edward. I turned my head and saw that Alice was being smashed into Jasper and laughing the whole time, while behind them Carlisle had his arm around Esme and was trying to prevent her from crushing him.

After I almost threw up on Emmett, the ride stopped and I said, "Never again." Later, we went back and rode it three more times. Shortly after our third ride on The Hurricane Jasper suggested we ride the Ferris wheel.

"No! No, no, no, no!" I said backing away from our group. "I'm terrified of heights…" I said and glanced around trying to think of an excuse to get out of riding that darn thing.

Emmett grabbed my hand, and said, "I'll be there to protect you though…" I started squirming, and then Emmett literally dragged me towards the line.

"Emmett! No! Please…" I begged, but it was no use. I was going to get on that Ferris wheel; there was no doubt in my mind about that when I saw Emmett's determined expression.

I sighed and stopped struggling. "If I live through this, I get to make you do something that you don't like." I said.

We got on, Emmett and I sat in unlucky number 13, while Bella, Sophie and Edward got into number 12 right in front of us, Sophie sat in the middle. Following them came Carlisle and Esme in cart number 11, and then Alice and Jasper in 10. Lucky for us Emmett and I got stuck right at the very top. I closed my eyes, started screaming, and buried my face into Emmett's chest.

Edward turned his head, and said, "Hey, Felivia, calm down, you're going to wake Bella up." Then went back to his conversation with Sophie.

Emmett placed his hand on my shoulders and gently pushed me away from his chest. "Felivia, look over there, the clouds decided to part just in time for the sunset." I opened my eyes, and saw a very beautiful sunset, a splash of amber, with over a thousand shades of reds, violets and pinks all blended together beautifully.

"Oh wow…" I said breathless. "It's so beautiful." I said with a dreamy look. Just then some of the sunlight landed on us, thus making Emmett sparkle. I glanced behind us, saw that no one was in the seat behind us and sighed with relief, and then smiled at his sparkly-ness. "You look amazing when you're all sparkly."

"Well, you look amazing when you're in the light of a sunset." He said and leaned closer to me.

"Well you look amazing, all the time." I countered.

"Well if you let your hair grow out, you'd look amazing all the time. I never really liked girls with super short hair like yours…except for Alice…but that's because she's my sister and I have to like her." He said laughing.

"The only reason it's so short is because I hate having to brush it, and it wastes a lot of shampoo if you have a lot of hair. But if you want me to I'll grow it out. Just for you." I said with a big smile.

He leaned in even closer, and paused, just centimeters from my face. "E-Emmett…what're you going to do…?" I asked, looking into his liquid topaz eyes, and getting lost within them.

"I was thinking about kissing you, but I'm kind of, worried that you wouldn't like it." He said with a smile.

"I'm sorry, I got lost staring into your beautiful eyes, so I didn't hear that." I said with a small blush.

"Well, I was just saying that I was thinking about kissing you…but I'm not sure how you'd react to it." He repeated.

I smiled, and whispered, "Well why don't you be a little risk taker, and find out?"

He leaned in the rest of the way, and was just about to press his lips against mine, when all of a sudden the Ferris wheel started up again, making our cart rock forward, thus making me cling to him for dear life and scream again. He held me and whispered, "it's okay Hon, I'm here, don't worry, I won't let the big bad Ferris wheel hurt you." He finished with a small chuckle.

We stopped again after a few seconds. "So…do you want to continue where we left off?" I asked curiously.

He leaned in again, and I feared that the stupid Ferris wheel would be evil in more ways than one and start up again to ruin yet another kiss moment. This time he pressed his lips to mine, and his hand found its way to the back of my neck.

We felt the Ferris wheel move once more, and didn't even bother breaking our kiss; until we heard two people clearing their throats. It was Jasper, and Carlisle. I blushed and Emmett and I climbed out of our cart.


	12. Boyshorts, Aerobic Class and Chandeliers

A/N Okay so this is going to be a pretty long chapter cause the bulding UP to the yoga part is kind of long, but enjoy!

FPOV(but Tay typing):

The next morning...

All of us were watching Gilmore Girls when Alice came skipping down the stairs with a huge grin plastered across her face. Edward shook his head back and forth, "she suggests we 'un-wind' with an aerobics class." He explained.

Shocker. I thought, the hyper little pixie chooses the most active and bouncy activity. I can stand it. I guess.. "When does it start?" I asked.

"An hour and a half." Alice said promptly. I sighed and went up to Emmett's room where my stuff had been re-located.

"I'll go get Sophie." Edward announced rushing to the door that lead him downstairs.

"Edward n-" Alice started to say but was cut off by Sophie's screams.

SPOV:

I was blasting "Girlfriend" on my Ihome and dancing around in boy shorts, in my new "bedroom" when all of a sudden the door flung open. I turned around to see Edward staring wide eyed. I screamed. LOUD.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I exclaimed.

"Uh-, wel-, I- oh god!" He stuttered a lot. Hehe he was cute when he was nervous. I looked down. FRICKERNUGGETS. I didn't even put a bra on!

"GET OUT!" I screamed running to pick up any article of clothing that would be able to cover me. Atleast I was able to get m bra on.

He covered his eyes and explained how we were going to aerboics soon. "OUT!" I yelled throwing a pillow at him.

"Ok-kay." He said turning and running into a wall. I had to laugh at his clumsyness. That laughing turned into hysterics. I fell to the floor clutching my stomach, laughing. He peek through his hands and saw me on the floor rolling around clutching my stomach. He came over and poked me in the head. "Sophie....? Soophiieee?" He asked still poking me.

But for some reason I couldn't stop laughing, after a few seconds I heard someone else laughing, a cheery heartfelt laugh, I looked up and saw Edward laughing. I tried to control my laughter and get up but as I was standing up fell back down.

"I fall backdown, but I get up again ain't nothing gonna keep me down."(A/N Anyone actually know the title/singer of this song? XD I couldn't find it but I used to love it.) Started coming out of the speakers Edward looked at me and we both stopped laughing and started singing. After the song finished and we stopped laughing we looked at each other, deep into the other persons eyes and we kissed. It was really simple, kind of awkward, EEP! We kissed! I mentally happy danced.

Felivia walked down the stairs and cleared her throat. We both jumped. I backed away from him and looked at her with a nervous expression.

"We're going to...um be leaving soon, so you might want to ge-"Felivia cut herself off, "You know what I'm going to go back upstairs and tell everyone you're almost ready." she ran back up the stairs. I looked at him and nodded, knowing he could read my thoughts. He let go of my hand and left.

I opened my closet which was no full x10(times ten). "Thanks Alice" I said aloud, knowing she'd hear me. I heard her laugh from upstairs. I put on black aerie yoga pants, a white lace cami, and white flipflops, and met up with everyone in the garage. We piled into two cars, Jasper and Alice's car, and Felivia Edward, Emmett, and I in Edward's car.

According to Edward, Bella had "Gone to Florida for a week" I knew that much because she hadn't been at school that day. I didn't really care, I giggled, Edward was mine for the week. Guessing he heard me her reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers.

We finally got to the fitness center and into our assigned room. Standing there, smiling, in sparkling spandex was Richard Simmons! I screamed and sprinted to hug him. "OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD! You're RICHARD SIMMONS! YAY!" I squealed jumping up and down not letting go of him which was kind of an awkward sight for everyone else, but I didn't care. RICHARD SIMMONS!

"YOU'RE TEACHING THE YOGA CLASS!?" I exclaimed.

"NO, GIRLY! I'M TEACHING YOUR TAEBO CLASS!" He said matching my entusiasm.

Oh, god! No! No! No! NOT taebo! I have horrible memories with Taebo...stupid laughing and dancing penguins! They wouldn't stop! I cringed, and Edward put his arm around my waist.

Three and a half effing hours of jumping and punching and bopping and hopping!! Even I had to catch my breath. Felivia looked ready to ass out. Emmett carried her to the car, as everyone glared at Alice, who was ignorantly smiling.

Edward was driving and reached for my hand again, and I didn't refuse. We went back home and Felviia decided to go to bed, as the rest of us, besides Esme and Carlisle, went hunting.

After hunting for a little over 15 hours, we went back home, it was Jasper's turn.

"So, Pansy, what game doyawanna(meant to be one word) play?"I asked him.

"Uhh," He stuttered and shrugged, "I dunno... how abou-" he was cut off by Alice and Edward's laughter. "H-h-he wants t-to play hahaha! Hide-N-Seek!!" Edward said laughing even more. Jasper looked down, embarassed.

"Aww! Pansy! It's a cute idea!" Comforted Felivia.

Everyone besides Edward agreed, though Alice was trying her best not to laugh.

Jasper smiled, "Obviously Alice, and Edward can't be the seeker. SO I'll go first!" He said happily.

We all ran off. Alice, Emmett, and Felivia ran upstairs. I would've followed, but Edward scooped me up and ran me to the garage. We hid in the upper cabinets in the garage.

FPOV:

Emmett and I went to the laundry room. I have no clue why it's upstairs, but hey, Tay and I are writing the story so whatever. I hid in the washing machine. Which was a tad bit difficult. Emmett jumped into the empty laundry basket. And Alice said something about a toilet plunger? Who knows.

SPOV:

Edward and I were staring into eachothers eyes again, though there wasn't much other place to look, we were in the cabinets, but it was in some twisted, dusty way, romantic.

He snickered.

"What?" I mouthed.

"Jasper's so confused. He's looking in Emmett's room and just found some sex doll. And now he's pretty freaked." Explained Edward quietly.

I giggled, "Poor guy."

A few seconds later sat on his knees, so he'd be able to lean closer, and he kissed me, a little more deeply this time. But broke apart when we heard the garage door open. We both stopped breathing entirely.

I had to focus my hardest on just staying hidden so I woulnd't lunch myself at Edward anymore, and all of a sudden I heard Edward panicking,"Sophie!? Sophie!?" He whisper-yelled.

"Shh! He'll find us!" I whisper-yelled back.

"Sophie, where the hell are you??" He asked quietly.

"Right infront of you!" I whispered back.

"No you're not..."he said fear spreading across his face.

I looked down. "HOLY FRIGGERNUGGETS WHERE THE HELL AM I!?" I screamed.

"AHHA! I found you guys!" Jasper screamed as the cabinet doors flew open, and paused for a second. "Wait where's Sophie?" He asked.

I waved my hands frantically" HULLO RIGHT HERE!" I screamed.

"Uhh...no you're not..." Jasper said nervously.

"HOLY SHIT SOPHIE YOU'RE INVISBLE!" Edward exclaimed.

"OH MY GOD! HA I HAVE AN AWESOME POWER!" I completely forgot about hiding and started to happy dance, but stopped after hearing Edward and Jasper's laughter. "I'm not invisible anymore, am I?" I asked.

"No," they answered in unison.

"Okay than..." I said.

"Nanananana I have an awesome powerrrrr," I thought to myself, and Edward laughed.

He got out and than scooped me up into his arms. And followed Jasper as he hunted for the rest.

Alice was sitting behind the toilet crouched down with a toilet plunger on her head, I guess she was trying to be inconspicious.

We started to leave the bathroom, and a loud CRACK came from behind us, we all turned around to see Emmett sitting in a now completely destroyed wicker laundry basket. He looked so confused it was cute. If he could've blushed he would've been beat red. He quickly got up and brushed himself off. Edward, Emmett, Alice, and I all knew where Felivia was, but refused to tell Jasper. And that's why we spent the next 30minutes looking for her. We ended up in teh laundry room where Felivia jumped out and yelled "SURPISE!" Throughing her arms up like she'd just come out of a a fake cake.

"Okay, since I found Sophie first, she's it." Stated Jasper. I shrugged and started to count, "100!" I yelled and set off on the adventure.

Alice was hidden in the freezer, 10 minutes later I found Felivia and Emmett making out under Esme and Carlise's bed, and Edward was hanging off the Chandelier in the kitchen.

We decided to call it quits because the game had taken up about 2 and a half hours of our time, and Felivia was pretty tired. 


	13. American Idol Tubing & Drowning Felivias

A/N: Tay and I were watching American Idol…and we figured we'd make Emmy and me try out for it. Only making it hilariously stupid. If you're wondering where I got the songs from…I was listening to my Sansa the whole time I was writing this… ~Lots of love from your Friendly Neighborhood Felivia!

Chapter 12

American Idol, Tubing, and Drowning Felivias.

"LIV!! Guess what!" Emmett said, thus waking me up the next morning.

"Ugh, what? It's too early for you to be shouting like that." I said and rolled over.

"Well for one, School was cancelled today. And Two, American Idol auditions are coming to Seattle!" He said with one of his trademark grins.

"And what, you want to audition?" I asked laughing.

"DUH!" he said as if it were obvious.

"Okay…Lets go find some songs to sing…" I said and he searched through his music collection as I searched through mine. "FOUND ONE!" I shouted.

"What is it?" Emmett asked, cocking his head to the left.

"That's How You Know from Enchanted." I said with a smile.

"Oh wow, that's sure to get you an automatic No." Emmett said laughing. "By the way, I found my song…It's Yellow Submarine by the Beatles." He said with a grin.

"I love that song!"

So we spiffed ourselves up, me wearing a big pooferistic dress, and Emmett wearing all yellow, and were about to walk out the door when Sophie came out. "Where are you two going?"

"To try out for American Idol." Emmett and I said seriously.

"Can I come?" Sophie said, and went to go put on a psychotic leather outfit, and curl her hair. She looked an awful lot like Sandra D from Grease at the very end.

"Oh God, don't tell me you're going to sing a Grease song." I said laughing and we all climbed into Emmett's jeep.

"You bet I am Mrs. poofy-pants." Sophie said with a smile.

We arrived at the audition set. I decided to go first. When I walked into the room, Paula and Randy were stifling laughter, and Simon had this look on his face that screamed, 'this girl can't be serious if she's coming in dressed like that.'

"I'm going to be singing That's how you Know from Enchanted." I said with a smile, and then started singing, horribly even though I can sing quite well when I want to. "It's not enough to take the one you love for granted, you must remind her or she'll be inclined to say "How do I know he loves me? How do I know he's mine wel does he leave a little note to tell you, you are on his mind? Send you yellow flowers when the sky is gray. Hey. He'll find a new way to show you a little bit every day that show you know, that's how you know he's your love!" And with that Simon held up his hand, signaling for me to stop.

"What was that?" Simon said. "That was horrible! I'm sorry but you just seem like you don't belong here. Paula what do you think?"

Paula took over from there, saying, "Well, I liked that you were willing to dress up for the song, but your singing could use a little bit of work…"

Randy said, "Yo, I'm sorry girl, I'll be honest, that was horrible."

"Oh I know. I wasn't really trying, I was just doing this for laughs and to get my fifteen seconds of fame." I said with a smile and a laugh and a small skip as I walked out of the studio. "You're up Sophie."

From what Sophie told me afterwards, she walked in, they tried to pronounce her last name, and failed miserably, and then she started singing, "We'll get some overhead lifters and four barrel quads oh yeah Fuel injection cutoffs and chrome plated rods oh yeah With the four speed on the floor they'll be waiting at the door You know that ain't no shit we'll be getting lots of tit In Grease Lightning Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile Go grease lightning you're coasting through the heat lap trial You are supreme the chicks'll cream for grease lightning Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go." And the icing on the cake, was she did the dance moves for it along with the singing. Paula had a huge smile on her face, "I Loved it girl that's a yes for me."

"Um that was a no for me, I just…to me it seemed rather horrible actually." And that seemed to have made her quite ticked off.

Randy followed with, "Yo, you suck dog…yo." Or something similar to that because Sophie couldn't remember his exact words and I wasn't in the room with her. But apparently their negative responses was enough to make her walk up to the judges table.

"Well Simon, you know what I have to say to your negativeness?" She said, and grabbed his cocacola cup. "I have to say that you wouldn't know talent if it came in here and bit you right in the crotch!" she yelled and threw his cup at him, getting him soaked with whatever was in his cup. And with that she stormed out of the audition room. "You're up Emmy, oh and by the way, Simon might be a little bit ticked off, I dumped his drink on him." She said with a laugh.

Emmett had somehow found a cape in the building and put it on over his all yellow suit. According to him, when he walked in all three of them had a look that basically said, 'what's with the cape.' Though with Randy it was more like 'yo, whatup with the cape yo?'

"So what song are you going to sing?" Simon asked.

"I'd rather surprise you with it." Emmett had said with a mischievous smirk. He took off the cape and threw it at Simon, he belted it out, very horribly because none of us wanted to go on to the next round, we just wanted to do this for the laughs. "In the town where I was born, Lived a man who sailed to sea, And he told us of his life, In the land of submarines, So we sailed on to the sun, Till we found the sea of green, And we lived beneath the waves, In our yellow submarine, We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine, We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine." And during his singing, he thought it'd be amusing to try and do a very sexy dance, and at one point jumped up on the judges table, then somehow ended up in Simon's lap and grinding against him. Simon's response was, well not very pleasant and involved a lot of bleeping out on the TV version. Randy and Paula both gave him negatives on his moving on to Hollywood and he started to 'cry' and then just like went into the fetal position in the middle of the audition space. Then he ran out of the audition room when Paula got up to try and 'comfort' him. Ryan Seacrest was standing right outside the door, and Emmett had no idea. Emmett came bursting through the door and ended up breaking Ryan's nose. Emmett still pretending to cry whispered, "oh crap…" to us, grabbed me, and we took off back home trying not to get caught by someone.

When we arrived home, Jasper was washing a boat in the garage. "When'd we get a boat?" Emmett asked with a confused expression.

"Just now, Carlisle, Edward and I went out and bought one." Jasper said with a smile. "We also got a few tubes so we can go tubing. All we need to do is find a lake to go tubing on."

"Wait, are there any lakes near Forks, or do we have to go on a road trip?" I asked

"Road trip. We're going to Quebec, up in Canada to Lac Sakami!" Alice said from up in the boat wearing a bikini and sunglasses pretending to drive the new speedboat.

"Canadia?" I asked my eyes lighting up.

"No...Canada." Jasper said.

"I call it Canadia." I said getting slightly defensive about it.

We all climbed into Emmett's jeep, and hooked the boat up. We sang annoying songs the whole way there. Once we arrived at the lake Carlisle and Jasper unhooked the boat and pushed it into the lake. Surprisingly no one else was there. Alice, Sophie, and I all took off our pants and shirts to reveal our super cute bathing suits that Alice had bought for us. Alice's was a black bikini with a strapless top, and the bottoms being held together with golden rings woven together. Mine was a california blue bikini, which made me slightly self concious about myself, with a flower sewed on the top's right side just before the strap started, and the bottoms had a matching flower sewn on the side left side. Sophie's was a peach colored bikini, that had gold circle patterns on the top, with them being connected with a gold ring, and a series of gold rings were holding the sides together. Esme wasn't wearing her bikini because her and Carlisle were sitting out and supervising. Carlisle threw the 'hotdog' tube into the middle of the back section of the boat. and hooked up two 2-seater tubes to the back of the boat. "Okay, who's going first?" Carlisle asked after he made sure the tube's ropes were secure.

"I want to ride with The Pansy!!" Sophie shouted and jumped into the purple side of the pink and purple tube.

"Emmett, want to ride with me?" I asked with a small smile.

"Sure, oh and by the way, you look adorable in that bikini." he whispered the last part.

I jumped into the blue half of the red and blue tube, and Emmett sat in the red half.

All the while Jasper was complainign saying that he wasn't a pansy, and that he was not going to ride in the pink side.

Edward took the wheel of the speedboat, and Carlisle sat towards the back of the boat supervising, making sure that nothing bad happened, or if I started giving them a thumbs down, which was the signal for them to stop the boat. We started off slow and then Sophie, Jasper, Emmett and I all shouted, "FASTER!" and when we reached close to the full speed, Edward started to make sharp turns, making Emmett and mine's tube fly away from the center and start going sideways to the left. Emmett was on the left half of our tube, and we started to tip over. "Emmett, lean over to the right before we tip over..." Emmett started to, but we ended up flipping over anyways. I wasn't the best swimmer on the planet, and we didn't have life jackets on, so I ended up under water, struggling to get back to the surface.

SPOV:

Felivia and Emmett's tube flipped over, which Carlisle made a signal for Edward to stop the boat and circle back to get them two. I saw Emmett come back to the surface, and wondered where Felivia was. Emmett climbed back into the boat, and glanced back towards the water waiting for Felivia to come back up. "Um, Emmett she's been down there for a while..." Carlisle said leaning over the side of the boat, sounding slightly anxious.

"Guys, you do know she can't swim too well...right? She was wearing a life jacket, wasn't she?" I said from Jasper and mine's tube.

Emmett and Carlisle exchanged a glance, Emmett's eyes widened, and he stood on the seat to the right side of the boat and dove into the water. Emmett returned to the surface with an unconcious Felivia thrown over his shoulder. "Carlisle, help me get her into the boat." Emmett said as he approached the boat. Carlisle grabbed her by the underarms and pulled her inside. I jumped out of our tube, Jasper's weight on the right side made it flip over, and we both swam back towards the boat. Carlisle had her lying down across the seats on the right side. "Carlisle, is she going to be alright or am I going to have to change her?" Emmett asked, looking extremely worried.

"Hmm, you could always give her mouth to mouth if you're feeling uncomfortable with changing her." Carlisle said looking away from Felivia to meet Emmett's worried expression.

"Okay, mouth to mouth." Emmett said. Carlisle moved her to the floor of the boat so that he could sit on her right side, and Emmett could sit on her right. While Emmett blew air into Felivia, Carlisle started doing the compression things.

A few minutes later Felivia started coughing up water. "Oh Emmy! My hero!" She said and jumped onto Emmett and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I helped..." Carlisle muttered.

"That reminded me of the whole, "Oh Popeye my hero!" thing from that Popeye the Sailor Man show..." I said laughing.

"So who wants to ride the hotdog?" Felivia said with a smile.

"Not you." Emmett said picking her up and setting her down onto the seat.

"WHy not?"

"You already almost died once today, I don't want to risk it agian, we don't have any life jackets on this boat." Emmett said. "So Sophie...you Jasper and Edward can ride the hotdog tube if you really want." He continued.

"You can ride it if you want to Emmy." Felivia said looking up at him.

"Nah, I'd rather stay here on the boat with you." Emmett had said.

"Okay, boys, lets get on that weiner!" I said.

FPOV:

"Okay, boys, let's get on that weiner!" Sophie had said and jumped back into the water, followed by Edward and Jasper. Carlisle threw the tube out into the water and the three of them climbed on. Jasper up front, Sophie in the middle and Edward in the back.

"Guys you have to lean with the hotdog to get it to turn. I just thought I'd give you a heads up on that one." I shouted back at them.

"How do you know that?" Emmett asked sitting in the driver's seat.

"I go tubing every year at my cousin's summer house, he has one of those hotdog tubes." I explained with a giggle. "Hey can I steer?" I asked with a smile.

"are you sure you're up for it? I mean you were unconcious for a few minutes back there..." Emmett said looking anxious.

"Oh I'll be fine. And if I'm not then you can take the wheel." I said and sat on his lap.

Emmett worked the throttle and I started steering. When we reached close to top speed I made a really sharp turn to the left.

Sophie started singing loudly, "To the left, to the left, Everythin you own in the box to the left!!" and all three of them leaned with the tube.

I made an S shaped bend for them and almost flipped them, but sadly they recovered just before flipping. "Dammit." I muttered and then tried to make some other random shape. After about ten minutes of them on the dog, I finally got them to flip over.

"Okay guys I think thats enough for today, we can go tubing some other time." Carlisle said when it was about four in the afternoon.

"Aww!" Emmett, Sophie, Alice, Jasper, Edward and I all groaned. "Come on Carlisle, you're no fun!" Alice continued.

"Well I say we just go home." Esme and Carlisle said at the same time, using what Emmett refers to as their 'parental' tone.

So we all went home, and upon arriving home, Emmett, Sophie and I noticed that it was about time for American Idol to come on. "GUYS! We have to watch American Idol!" the three of us shouted and pulled everyone to the living room.

Our performances were at the very end of that night's try-out sessions. After watching Emmett's lovely performance, Carlisle, slipping into his British accent, which Emmett later explained that he slips into it when he's extremely confused, nervous, or annoyed, and said, "What te bloody 'ell was tha'?" making all of us laugh.


	14. Wrestling and Cow Tipping

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, nor does Felivia, but god knows we want to. And we don't own Raw, or Phineas and Ferb, another sad fact.

It was 2 days before Emmett's birthday, but the tickets were only good for tonight, so I ran down the stairs, into the living room where Jasper, Edward, and him, were watching Phineas and Ferb.

"Hey Emmettttt! I've got your birthday present!!" I said smiling ear to ear know he'd love it.

"Oh! Oh! Show me! Show me! Show me!" He exclaimed jumping up and down excitedly like a little boy in a candy store.

I handed him a box wrapped in shiny wrapping paper with the word "Emmett" written in green cursive all over it. He ripped the paper off and opened the box in .7 seconds.

"OHMIGOD, OHMIGOD, OHMIGOD!" He screamed like an overly giddy fril(fan girl) who just met the Nick Jonas. "You got us tickets to Raw!" He explained.

Edward and Jasper jumped up.

"All of us are going! Front row seats!" I said smiling proudly.

We all got ready and went to the stadium, screaming fans were every where dressed head to toe in their favorite wrestler's gear, and we were no exception.

We got to our seats just as the first match was starting. The Big Show vs. Mark Henry, a very heated match. Two huge guys beating the living shit out of each other.

Edward and I held hands the whole time except for the occaisonal clap or cheer. It was the last match of the night. Money in the bank match.

Basically a suitcase with a in it hung in the air and you had to bea tthe living shit out of your oponet so you could get a ladder open climb up and get the suitcase, and you'd be able to be a contender in the Summer Slam.(In the story it's March 13th, Kellan Lutz's birthday is March 15th, the actor who plays Emmett. We coulnd't find his real birthday, and yes I know Summer would be three months away but I'm spacing on different big events that happen in Raw, so bare with me!!)

"Everything was quiet as the Randy Orton came in to the ring, well simply because no one liked him.

"FAKE! THIS IS ALL BULLSYCALL! RANDY ORTON IS A PHONY!" Someone yelled...somone who sounded some much like...FELIVIA! I turned to pear around Edward and Emmett to see Felivia standing on the barrier that kept people from jumping into the ring.

Randy Orton was starting to make his way over to our side, "What'd you say kid?" He aske through his mic.

She was back on the ground so he was aroun a foot taller than her, but she made her voice loud. " I SAID YOU'RE A PHONY!" She spat in his face.

"You little!" And he lunched for her neck, the audience gasped. But not at Orton's lunge, but Emmett's stopping it before it even started. He grabbed his hand almost crushing it. Randy winced, and Emmett laughed.

"You want to fight?" Emmett asked smirking.

Randy stared wide eyed as Emmett stood up. Emmett was a good 5inches taller than him.

Emmett's grin increased, he hopped over the barrier and him and Randy Orton got into the ring. They walked rythmically in a circle, observing the other one's movements.

Let's just say, after two minutes, Randy needed medical attention and FAST, and Emmett went unscratched.

Mr. Mcman came out, spit on Orton, and than offered Emmett a job, but he declined and we left.

On our way home, I thought of something really interesting about the RHPS...

"Hey, guys? Why in the Rocky Horror Picure Show, did they freeze the Delivery Boy, Eddie...?" I asked aloud.

"Woah" Everyone said in unison...

"You know.. maybe it's because h-" But Edward's shout and stopping of the car cut him off.

"OH SHIT THERES COWS!"Edward exclaimed.

I finally caught on to his excitement, "Let's go cow tipping!!"

Everyone else cheered in agreement.

We ran out of the car to the cow field. And tipped a few over, thankfully none awoke, I mean we could run if they did, but that would kind of defeat the whole adrenaline rush. (Lol "I had an adrenaline rush, you can google it).

Felivia thought it would be fun to jump on the "pretty white cow" and scream,"Onward billie joe jim bob To THE CULLENS!" as she started to ride out of the pasture. The Pansy and Alice decided to go with her so she didn't get herself killed and promised to meet us back at the house.

Not even two minutes later Emmett tipped over some big looking cow, trying to show off, but apparently it wasn't a cow. It was a bull. And apparently that bull wakes up when he gets tipped over. And apparently he just woke up, and doesn't LIKE being tipped over.

"EMMETT! YOU IDIOT!" Edward and I screamed at once. I phrase said all too often.

Felivia was on Emmett's shoulders, or she never would've made it. And we We ran, and fast. The bull was charging at us at full speed.

We got into the car and sped off, all of us finally being able to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Let us NEVER speak of this again," I said.

"Deal," replied Emmett and Edward in agreement. 


	15. Dancing Amishness and Spin the Bottle

Chapter...Whatever I lost count.

Dancing, Amishness, and Spin-the-bottle

FPOV:

The first thing I saw in the morning was the back of Emmett's head. "That's a lovely site to see in the morning. The back of someone's head." I muttered sleepily.

"G'morning Felivia!" Emmett said with a grin.

"So what's up Emmett, why didn't you wake me up at 5:30?" I asked when I saw the clock claiming it to be around 9:30.

"Because, school was cancelled, for the next few days…due to a mudslide or something like that." He said dismissively.

"Ah…" I said and rolled over to try and go back to sleep.

"Hey, don't go to sleep again beautiful. All you do is snore, you don't even talk like Bella so it's not amusing to watch you sleep." Emmett said, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

"I'll sleep if I want to sleep Emmett." I said and shoved my face into the pillow.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." He said and picked me up off the bed forcing me to stand up.

"Fine…" I realized that Emmett had left the radio on from last night. We decided to listen to music before I went to bed. "Emmett!! I love this song!!" I said with a smile.

"Really?"

I started singing along with the ending of 4 Minutes by Madonna while we both were trying to dance like they do in the music video, and I was failing miserably, to the point where I fell over every time I tried to get back up, and Emmett was dancing amazingly. If you want it you come and get it If you thought it It better be what you want If you feel it It must be real just Say the word and im a give you what you want"

After that Milkshakes started playing and I just started dancing on Emmett and singing. "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you but I'd have to charge. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you but I'd have to charge, I know you want it, the thing that makes me, what the guys go crazy for, they lose their minds, the way I wind, I think it's time, lala, la, la, la, warm it up, lala, la la la the boys are waiting, lala la la la warmit up, lala la la la, the boys are waiting. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you but I'd have to charge. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you but I'd have to charge. I can see you're on it, you want me to teach the techniques that freaks these boys, it can't be bought, just know theives get caught, watch if you're smart. Lala la la la, warm it up, lala la la la, the boys are waiting, lala la la la, warm it up, lala la la la the boys are waiting, My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you but I'd have to charge, My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you but I'd have to charge. Oh once you get involved everyone will look this way so you must maintain your charm same time maintain your halo, just get the perfect blend plus what you have within, then next his eyes will squint and he's picked up your scent. Lala lala la, warm it up, lala la la la the boys are waiting, lala la la la, warm it up, lala la la la the boys are waiting. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you but I'd have to charge, My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you but I'd have to charge." As the song finished up, Emmett started clapping and laughing.

"You should have done that on American Idol, you would have gone directly to Hollywood with that performance.

"Hah, sure I would have…Oh my God! I love this song! You have great music taste Emmett!" I said as I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden started playing. I ran over and turned it up. When I turned around I ran into Emmett because I had no idea he was right behind me.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked holding his hand out for me to take.

I snorted, "Yeah the jolly green giant and a munchkin from the Lullabye Guild dancing together, that's really going to work ou-EMMETT Put me down!" I shouted as he picked me up and made me stand on his feet.

"Jolly green giant? What happened to calling me Grizzly-Man?" Emmett said with a laugh.

"I'll still call you Grizzly-Man…but I figured I'd play it up a little with the nicknames." I said as we, and by we I mean he because he did all the work all I had to do was wrap my arms around his neck, started slowdancing around.

He started singing along, and unlike with the Yellow Submarine incident, he sounded amazing, "Maybe its intuition, but some things you just don't question, like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant, and there it goes, I think I found my best friend. I know that it might sound more than a little crazy, but I believe, I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you in tonight, I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life. There's just no rhyme or reason, only a sense of completion, and in your eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching for, I think I found my way home. I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe, I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you in tonight, I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life. A thousand angels dance around you, I am complete now that I found you, I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you in tonight, I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you in tonight, I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life." After he finished singing, he leaned in and gave me a gentle kiss.

"See now you should have sang like that in YOUR American Idol audition, instead of like raping Simon." I said laughing.

Esme walked in on us then. "Um, I came in here to tell you two that we're going to Amish country…so you should get ready…" She said and then went somewhere to do something.

"Okay then." I said and yanked off my night shirt and then my shorts. I walked into the closet and groaned when I saw how many things Alice had put into it.

Emmett snuck up behind me, "Hey cutie." He said and gave me a small pat on the behind.

"Em, behave yourself." I said laughing.

Downstairs we heard what sounded like Edward, Sophie and Jasper taking turns sinigng the verses Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovich.

First it was Jasper, "As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... Fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin but if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699"

And then all three of them started shouting, "We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise I've churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise"

Edward took over from there, "A local boy kicked me in the butt last week  
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare We're just technologically impaired"

Then the three of them shouted, "There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury Like Robinson Crusoe It's as primitive as can be We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish paradise There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish paradise We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish paradise"

And Sophie took the final verse and they all shouted the last chorus, "Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish paradise There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish paradise But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish paradise"

Emmett and I started laughing and I started digging through the closet trying to find some form of normal non-stylish outfit to wear. I finally found a light blue cotton T-shirt and a pair of regular old blue jeans. "Yay I found something normal in this closet." I said smiling at myself in the mirror after I put the clothes on.

Emmett snuck up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You look…amazing, but you're wearing something that, according to Alice, you look 'horrible' in."

We went to the Amish town, rode in some Horse and Buggy things, churned some butter, wore goofy outfits, and Emmett and I kept making fun of Carlisle by asking if these were the kind of experiences he had as a child.

"Okay! So now that we're back home, with electricity and running water, and non-churned butter, what're we going to do now?" I asked looking up at the living room ceiling.

Emmett put his mischievous smirk on his face, and yelled "SPIN THE BOTTLE TIME!"

Esme and Carlisle decided to go to their room for the rest of the night and for some reason Jasper suggested we invite Mike, Angela, Ben, and Eric.

About 10 minutes later Mike Angela, Ben and Eric all showed up. "Who're those two?" Angela asked when she saw Sophie and I sitting on the couch.

"Oh, these are our 10th cousins, 13 1/3 times removed." Emmett explained with smile. Sophie and I just started giggling.

"1/3?" Mike and Angela asked confused.

"Well you see, one third of the family wanted them removed, while the other two thirds said thirteen times was plenty." Edward said going along with the thirteen and one third times removed theory.

"SO WHO WANTS TO PLAY?" Sophie and I shouted grabbing the root beer bottle from the table.

"Okay then." Jasper said and went over to the DVD player on the other end of the room. "We need some music, and the rules are, no matter who it lands on, you have to kiss them, no matter what, even if it's the same gender." He said and popped in a CD. It was a love song CD, probably one that Alice made. Lollipop by Mika started playing, followed by I Can Hear the Bells from Hairspray, followed by What Is Love? By Haddaway, and we all started doing the Night at the Roxbury head-bang thing, and it followed by Honky-tonk Bandonkadonk by Trace Adkins. Mike and Ben were forced to kiss, then Eric and Ben, and then Angela and Edward, which Angela nearly fainted during that one. After a while Mike Angela Ben and Eric all left, and it was just Jasper, Edward, Alice, Emmett, Sophie and myself.

Jasper spun the bottle, and was like glaring at it when it landed on Edward. Very reluctantly they kissed and Jasper quickly kissed Alice, probably to get the 'Edward cooties' out of his mouth. Edward spun the bottle, and it landed on Alice. Edward gave her a quick kiss on the lips, making the oh-so-jealous Sophie glare at poor little Alice.

Alice spun the bottle, and said, "Round and round she goes, where she stops, no body knows…except for me!" she spun it a little too hard, so it spun for quite some time, long enough for 3 songs to play, so that I Kissed a Girl started playing when the bottle pointed at me.

"Wow what's with these darn music players lately, always playing a perfect song for the moment." I muttered.

She leaned over, kissed me, seemed to be enjoying herself because she kissed me until Jasper and Emmett got annoyed and cleared their throats. Alice giggled and sat down on Jasper's lap.

"Okay my turn." I said and spun the bottle, it was a very weak spin, and didn't even complete a circle.

"Doesn't count." Sophie said, probably because it was pointing at her, "Has to go in a full circle." She said. So I spun it again this time it made two full rotations before landing on Emmett.

"Woo-woo!" I said and did a mini happy dance. Emmett was sitting to my left side, so all I had to do was turn around and bam there he'd be, ready to give me an awesome kiss. Animals by Nickelback started playing as Emmett lowered me to the ground, and climbed over top of me. He leaned in and kissed me, rather passionately, with tongue and everything, and then moved down towards my neck.

"E-Emmett, are you sure that you should be doing that, I mean, what if you…oh…I don't know…bite me?" I said trying to squirm away from him.

"I'll be careful not to." He murmured against my neck.

He then started to suck on my neck, and my hand tangled itself into his curly locks. "Emm." I said sighing contently. I was so relaxed, up until he actually did bite me. "Ouch! Damn it! Emmett! I told you so!" I said before the pain really set in, after the pain set in, I was too busy screaming in agony to even form a sentence.

"Oh Bullsycle!!(A/N: That's really fun to say out loud. Tay and I were just sitting there, laughing at how amusing it was to say it out loud. You should try it.) This can't be good!" Emmett said as he picked me up and placed me on the couch. "I'll be right back Liv. Jazz, Ed, keep an eye on her." He said and took off upstairs. "CARLISLE! Get over here! NOW!"

"wh-" Carlisle started to ask.

"No time for explaining, we just need help." Emmett said and didn't bother opening Carlisle's door; he just plowed right through it, grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him downstairs.

"With wh-?" Carlisle started, though as soon as he saw me writhing in pain on the couch, his question died in his throat and said. "Em, you got two options here, let that venom spread, or do what Edward did with Bella and suck it back out, though if you don't want to be the one to do it I'll do it…I guess." Carlisle continued.

Later, Sophie, Carlisle and Alice told me Emmett spent a half a minute pacing the length of the coffee table, thinking on what to do. He figured he'd just let the transformation take place, and that he never left my side throughout the whole thing. I was conscious through most of it, just with my eyes closed, fighting the urge to cry out in pain. And every time I lost that fight, Emmett would apologize for making me hurt so badly. He also said that if he could he'd take the pain for me. I thought that if I wasn't in that much pain I'd have thought that he was so sweet, and probably tried to kiss him for it. The three days were finally up and when I opened my eyes, the first think I heard were Emmett, and Sophie's voices screaming "PRAISE JEEBUS! SHE'S ALIVE!" I looked at Emmett, then at Sophie, then all around the room.

"Um Hi?" I said not recognizing my own voice as I sat up, and looked around again. I smiled and jumped up off the couch. "Wait a sec…didn't I used to be down here?" I asked poking Emmett's stomach/lower chest area, "Did I magically get taller?" I asked excited. I pulled Emmett into a bear hug and Squealed with delight at the fact that I was actually 'tall' for once.

"Um…Liv…Ouch, that kind of hurt. I think you need to try not to break me." Emmett chuckled and gave me a small kiss.

"Oopsies."I said with a giggle.


	16. Zoos and Toilet Plunger Jousting

A/N Bejiggity is a funny word. I heard it on "The Sweetest thing." Just saying.

At this point we'd completely lost track of who's turn it was, but Felivia really wanted to go to the zoo.

After spending an large amount of time at Grizzly bear section, we went into one of the buildings, a seemingly cold buildig, not like I'd be able to tell.

We went to one of the polar exhibits, and there were penguins. I screamed and jumped back in pure terror.

"P-p-p-penguins" I stuttered, staring wide eyed. Edward came to my side immediatly.

"What the hell is up with you and penguins, Sophie?!" Exclaimed Emmett.

I shuddered and tried to talk but couldn't get the words out of my mouth.

After a minute of recooperation I told them the story....

" 'Hey Sophiieeee!' Called Felivia from the penguin habitat, which her and I liked to refer to as the Waddle Shack. I ran into the "Waddle shack" to see Felivia standing over a group of penguins.

I had to go to dance practice soon, it was a represenation of nature, and I was a leopard. They were graceful, and quick, which is why I my leotard and ballet flats were leopard print and I was wearing it.

I danced my way over to the penguin pack, and all of a sudden they attacked me. I screamed and tripped on air and the pounced on me. It's ironic, how someone can be a ballet dancer, but be the clumsiest(I know not really a word, but let's pretend it is.) person in the world.

Then they attacked flapping their little flippers and nipping with their little beaks. I thrashed as them and they're little pack tried to eat me.(I looked it up they eat like"rock crabs" and some of them have leopard print shell.) Felivia shoed them away but I'm still pretty terrfied.

Than there was the incident with tae bo....

Felivia had suggested we take tae bo classes, so we could get in shape for Lacrosse season. I agreed and we went the next day. The class we were in was in the back, and we had to cut through the childrens fitness center to get to our class.

This was five years after the penguin incident and I was still shaken up. Just my luck!(Hey that's a movie!) There were dancing freaking people in penguin costumes there to entertain the children. We scooted by quickly, but one of them FELL ON ME.

I'm not stupid enough to believe that they were real, but the reminded of the attack from the past scared me, a lot. So, I have horrible memories with tae bo, AND penguins!" I finished my story with a sigh. Felivia was the only person who still knew I still feared them.

Everyone looked at me like I was crazy, besides Felivia.

"What!? Stop staring at me!" I exclaimed, embarrassed beyond belief.

Edward came over to and put his arm around me, kissing me on the cheek. I smiled.

"We can leave if you want," He offered whispering in my ear.

I nodded, we went to the Llama exhibit and headed home.

We were all standing around the living room conversing animatedly when all of a sudden Felivia screamed, a blood curdling scream, and jumped up on the table jumping up and down.

"EW! GET IT! GET IT OUT!!" She shouted poiting towards the floor. A human would've never noticed it, but we weren't exactly human. So we WERE able to see the not even an inch in width or heigh spider crawling around. I admit spiders bothered me, but not to the extent that it was driving Felivia.

Emmett burst into a rawr of thunderous laughter, and Felivia scowled at him.

"What, babe? A.)You're a VAMPIRE. B.) The spider's already tiny enough, c.) You don't need to be afraid, it couldn't hurt you!" He reassured her. The Pansy picked up the spider gingerly and let it go outside.

"Aww! Such a compassionate little flower!!" said Felivia hugging Jasper, still scowling at Emmett.

"I'm not a freaking flower" Mumbled Jasper.

"Haha, Sophie, that's perfect!" said Edawrd. I cocked my head, "Huh?"

"The toilet plunger idea, you know, with buying the cows?" He said.  
I nodded my head,finally catching on to what he was saying.

He grabbed Felivia and I by the hand and raced us out the door.

Felivia took Emmett's jeep, and him and I took his volvo. We attached a very large trailer to both of the cars and headed to the farm where we'd recently went cow tipping.

The farmer graciously sold us eight cows, because of our ridiculously once-in-a-life-time offer.

Then, We went to the hard ware store and bought 8 toilet plungers, in purple, green, white, orange, red, yellow, pink, and blue.

Felivia suggested we stop by this costume store Alice had told her about, for new outfits.

We all bought sexy cow girl outfits. Felivia's consisted of denim shorts, a redish california blue long sleeve top, that tied right under her breats. and a red hat. We got Esme an outfit with a lace-up faux-leath fringe halter, panty, and assless chaps, and a pink bandana to tie around her neck. I bought a very frilly costume. It had a tie front top that was red with trimmed white lace, matching blue booty shorts with the same white lace, and matching hair ties, with a white hat that had a red stripe that went around it. And for Alice, we decided to get her a "Sheriff" outfit, since she usually lead these types of wars. It was all black with chaps, booty shorts, a button front vest, and vinyl belt, pin and 2 guns, black boots, and a place hat with a silver star on the front. We also bought boots that matched with the outfits.

Edward bough four pairs of "chaps" to go with the western theme for the guys. The Pany's was purple leather, Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner's was a black leather, Grizzly-Mans's was a darkish brown color, and Dr. Feel-Good's was jeans with chaps over it.

We went back home and retreated to our designated meeting spots, the girls in Alice's room, the boys in Edward's room.

Alice had us line up. "Okay, women, this is going to be a tough fight, but I'm confident in you and your cows, that you can do this!" She said enthusiastically.

We marched out single file line behind her out to the back yard, where they'd built a fenced in area for the cows.

We all jumped on our cows, my cow's name was CowBelle, and she had pink bows on her ears. Alice's cow was named Andley, Esme's cow was named Lloyd, and than Felivia got the cow she'd written before, Billy Joe Jim Bob.

Jasper's cow was named Licoln Titterface(thanks to felivia), Carlisle's cow was named Rocky, Emmett's cow's name was Butterscotch, and Edward's cow was named Charlie.

The goal was to knock your opponent off his or her cow.  
Edward and I were up first. We stared at each other. I made sure to push my boobs together to give him even more of a distraction. When I knew he was completely distracted Cowbelle and I attacked! I hit him with my purple plunger, knocking him backwards a little, but not off. Damn.

"SHUN THE NON BELIEVERRR!!!" Alice, Felivia, and Esme shouted at Edward. I giggled, Charlie the unicorn. He turned and growled at them, but they continued to taunt, "CANDY MOUNTAIN, CHARRLIIEEE!"

He didn't take his eyes off them, I took this advantage and CowBelle and I gallopped to the side of him, thrusting him off with my plunger.

"HUZZAH!" The girls and I shouted, throwing our toilet plungers into the air.

The rest of the matches went as Followed

Fights:

Sohpie vs. Edward:  
Sophie.

Sophie vs. Emmett:  
Emmett

Sophie vs. Carlisle:  
Sophie.

Sophie vs. Jasper:  
Sophie.

Felivia vs. Emmett:  
Emmett.

Felivia vs. Edward:  
Felivia.

Felivia vs. Carlisle:  
Carlisle

Felivia vs. Jasper: Jasper.

Alice vs. Carlisle:  
Alice.

Alice vs. Emmett:  
Alice.

Alice vs. Edward: Alice.

Alice vs. Jasper:  
Jasper.

Esme vs. Jasper:  
Jasper

Esme vs. Emmett Emmett

Esme vs. Carlisle:  
Esme.

Esme vs. Edward:  
Edward

So in better terms:  
Edward had 1 win.  
Jasper had 3 wins.  
Emmett had 3 wins.  
Carlisle had 1 wins.  
Esme had 1 win.  
Alice had 3 wins.  
Felivia had 1 win.  
Sophie(moi!) had 3 wins.

I lost to both Jasper and Emmett the last rounds, and Jasper beat Alice. So in the end the boys ended up winning. All of the girls groaned, and Emmett had a very amused grin plastered on his face.

"So girls, that means tomorrow at the very beginning of lunch, you ALL, yes you too Esme, have to stand in the fountain, in THOSE outfits, and do the YMCA to the song"Macho Man". The whole song." Explained Edward, evily.

We had lost, and had to do it, no exceptions.

We ended up getting detention again. And thanks to Emmett, we had no other clothes to change into. So we walked around the school the rest of the day in our sexy western costsumes..

Bitchmungopapercut. 


	17. Silly String and Conjoined Triplets

E

Silly String and conjoined triplets.

FPOV:

"Emmett, I have an amazing idea." I said with a smile.

"Oh really? What is it?" He asked as we sat on the bed in his room.

I leaned over, cupped my hand around his ear and whispered my grand scheme to him so as the rest of the family couldn't hear. We both climbed into his jeep after grabbing a wad of cash from one of the many cash-stashes located throughout the house. Before we left, Alice jumped into the back then climbed into the backseat.

"Um, hi Alice." I said turning around to look at her from the Passengers seat.

"Hi!" she said with a smile.

"What are you doing in here?" Emmett asked as he started driving out towards the mall section.

"Well, I had a vision, involving," She paused and waited until we were out of the rest of the family's hearing range and continued, "Silly string, and I figure, why not drag Felivia to Masquerade and buy some cute outfits for the girls to wear during our war. Oh and by the way its going to be guys versus girls. So Emm, if you want to buy some sexy army outfits for the guys, feel free to go find some."

"Okay then." I said and started laughing.

Our first stop in our journey to get supplies was the Dollar Tree. Alice went straight to the cashier, while Emmett and I went to where the Silly String was kept.

"Hey, cutie." Alice said, trying to be flirtatious with the cashier.

"U-um hi." he said, clearly flabbergasted by Alice.

"Hey Hon, we're having a Silly String fight later, and we need about one thousand cans, my friends are over there in the section where you keep the silly string, and well, I know there's not going to be a thousand cans of the stuff in the aisle." She said with a smirk. "Do you have any in the back?"

"Um...let me check." He said and as he passed Emmett and I he said, "Hey would you guys mind coming closer to the Employee only door so if we do have that many cans back there, I dont have to carry them too far?"

"Sure thing," I said with a smile.

So after we bought a thousand cans of Silly String, we drove over to Masquerade. "Um Em, they really only have sexy costumes for the ladies here, I don't think there's any sexy men costumes here but you can go look and try to find something." Alice said and drug me into the section where the sexier costumes were located. In a room that had pink walls, that were filled with costume bags.

"Alice how'd you find this store?" I asked looking around.

"Last Halloween, Rosalie and I wanted to be sexy so we looked in Spencer's, couldn't find anything we came here and we saw the large collection and bought almost every single one. Although I've yet to get a military themed costume from here." Alice explained.

Alice ran over to the wall and searched for costumes, she found the Army Nurse costume, the Trooper costume, two marine costumes, two Cadet costumes, a boot camp officer one, and one that was referred to as Major Tease. She shoved me into the dressing room with half of the costumes.

I came out wearing the Marine costume with a blue sequin crop top and fringed garter briefs with fishnet stockings that were attached by ribbons. "What do you think Alice?" I asked and spun around in a circle.

"Great! But you forgot the hat!" She said and placed the white Marine hat on my head. I noticed that she was wearing a lace up side khaki military garter dress and a matching hat.

She held up one of the Army Nurse costumes that had a camo nurse hat, stethoscope, red fishnets, a tie, a shrug, camo bra and matching camo skirt with a red apron with a white cross on it, in it. And held up another, that had basically a camo dress, a half-jacket and a hat with it.

We met up with Emmett after we purchased the four costumes. Emmett had a bag as big as the one Alice was carrying. We returned home and separated the cans of Silly String by colors and we each had our own color. And we set the rules and Emmett said we needed to tell the girls that, and that he'd tell the guys. The rules were, you were allowed to hide as many cans of Silly String as possible on your person, the only weapon you're allowed to use is the silly string, meaning no wrestling moves and such, and you are allowed to mess with people's minds, hide out and then Ambush a group, and whoever was covered with the most silly string at the end of it all were the losers. If the girls lost they'd have to do a sexy stripper dance in the middle of lunch in the cafeteria the next day, and if the boys lost, they'd have to streak through the cafeteria during lunch. , Everyone gets a different color, I got blue, Sophie got purple, Jasper got pink, Carlisle got yellow, Edward got green, Alice got red, Emmett got orange, and Esme got white. Alice and I grabbed Sophie and Esme and dragged them up to Alice's room.

"Okay ladies, this is war." Alice said. She tossed the girls the costumes; we put them on, and Alice gave us some sexy stilettos to wear with them, and then we sat down so Alice could do our war makeup. Alice ran into her closet and grabbed Jasper's whip type thing (A/N: You know those things, that like are long sticks, and have like a leather loop at the end, I have no idea what they're called all I know is that they're used for a whip type thing.) and said, "Felivia!" and pointed the whip thing at me, "You are the blue silly string." Alice said and tossed me the bag of blue Silly string. "Sophie! You are the purple, Esme you're the white, and I'm the red. The rules of this battle are, you can hide as many cans as possible on your person; there are one hundred and twenty five cans per person, so you better try to hide all of them. You can only use the silly string as a weapon, meaning no hand-to-hand combat, no wrestling, and no tackling down and spraying. You can distract the opponents by any means so long as it's not physical contact, meaning we can use our costumes to an advantage, but only resort to that as a last resort. We can hide, and try to ambush the enemy but I have a feeling that the Mind reading stupid shiny Volvo owner will be able to sense an ambush, as will I, so I don't get why we're allowed to do that, the final rule is you are not allowed to take off any silly string, if it falls off then it's okay, but do not purposefully take silly string off of your person. And the losers, which will be judged by the amount of silly string left on them at the end of it all, well it depends on who the losers are. If for some reason we are the losers, we have to wear our outfits to school and do a sexy stripper type dance and actually start to take off the clothes, but if it's the enemy, then they have to streak naked through the cafeteria during lunch tomorrow." Alice said, and threw us walkie-talkies.

"We need code-names." Sophie said.

"Alice can be The Pixie" I suggested.

"Okay, so I'm the Pixie, Esme can be the Stepford Wife, Felivia's the Psycho-Vamp, and Sophie's the Psycho-Neighbor."

And with that we set out to go find people to silly string. Sophie used her invisibility to sneak over to the boy's territory to try and spy on them and see what they were up to, while I went to go find a spot to hide until I saw one of the boys.

Dr. Feel-Good popped out of nowhere, wearing black pants, a pair of lack combat boots, a sleeveless army jacket, and a matching hat. He had a 'utility' belt for lack of better terms, all filled with cans of yellow Silly String, and he had one of those things that you wear over your chest that's full of bullets, only filled with more silly string. He pulled one out of his utility belt, aimed, and was about to fire, but Alice popped out of nowhere and sprayed him right in the face. "Run Psycho-Vamp! Run!" She shouted.

I rolled behind the couch, and saw Grizzly-Man looking around the room, wearing the same outfit as Dr. Feel-Good; only he looked ten times sexier in it. I wrote a note, folded it into a paper airplane form, and then threw it at him then ran to a better hiding spot. The note read, "You look sexy Grizzly-Man, look behind you and you'll get a special sexy surprise. Psycho-Vamp."

So he followed the instructions, with a huge grin on his face, and I came out from behind the chair, yelled "KIYAHH!!!" and came up behind him, using the sword I swiped from Jasper's half of their closet to pull the back of his pants open and squirt some blue silly string down there. "Hey sexy." I said and then gave him a light smack on the ass. He turned around and squirted some orange silly string on my cleavage. Then I squirted him down the front of his pants by using the same method, and then ran away.

Later on, Emmett and I were in the kitchen Emmett on one end, me on the other. We both had two cans of silly string left, on both sides of our hips. It seemed very western-y, so I went with it. "This kitchen ain't big enough for the two of us." I said with a southern accent, and I pretended to spit out some chew, only I spit out some venom into the kitchen sink.

"Damn right it's not, and only one of us will remain Miss Kitty. And it sure as hell ain't gonna be me." He said in response, with an even worse southern accent than mine.

I pulled my 'guns' out and jumped to the counter and squirted Emmett in the face. Before he could shoot back I jumped across the kitchen shooting with both cans and doing a spiffy flip across the room. Out of nowhere, Alice, Esme, and Sophie all came and aimed our 'guns' at Emmett.

"Guys! Get in here!" Emmett yelled, "I need backup!"

And with that the other three boys jumped into the room from the door behind Emmett. So we all stared each other down. The boys were completely covered with Silly String because it clung to their clothes. Since us girls didn't have much clothes on, we had very little silly string on us. "Girls, use your last resort weapons." Alice whispered, which was the code words for 'flash the boys.'

We all lifted our shirts, and bras up and flashed the boys. They all gawked at our chests, and we took the opportunity to spray the rest of our silly string on them. We put our shirts back down and took off to the living room. The boys tried to get silly string on us and failed miserably because we kept dodging and flipping over their silly string. They finally ran out of silly string and then we had to call it quits. The boys were still completely covered, and us girls only had some in our hair, and in our cleavage areas, and some ended up sticking to our stockings. "I think we won." Sophie and I said together with a grin.

"Meaning we have to streak through the cafeteria tomorrow." Carlisle sighed, taking off his hat.

"So boys, do you like our outfits?" all four of us asked and then jumped onto our boys.

"No of course not. We hate to see our girls dressed so sexily." The four of them said.

Emmett kissed my neck, "You look amazing, even with orange silly string in your cleavage, hair and on your legs." He said grinning against my skin.

"Welll you look amazing in your little army outfit..." I said, and then whispered in his ear, "Want to go upstairs for a little bit, and do something…fun?"

He didn't even bother answering; he just scooped me up and took me up to the bedroom.

I wont go into the details on what we did up there, but lets just say it involved, barbeque sauce, a pumpkin, a leaf blower, and some lotion.

About a half hour later we came back downstairs smiling like crazy at each other and just started a full-blown make-out session on the couch. Sophie came downstairs, sat next to us and turned the TV on to Comedy Central.

Emmett Sophie and I were watching Stuck On You after the cleanup for the Silly String war. Emmett and I both smiled at each other and then glanced at Sophie and said, "I say we try to get Carlisle to sew us together!"

"By us do you mean you two, because I'm not going to join in." Sophie said.

"Oh yes you are," Emmett and I said, and we both grabbed her and drug her upstairs to Carlisle's office. "Carlisle! Sew us three together to make us conjoined triplets!" Emmett said with a grin.

"Um, I'd rather not." Carlisle said glancing up from his book.

"Oh come on Carlisle, we're all vampires! It's not like it's going to kill one of us if we do it!" I said giving Carlisle the puppy dog eyes, which probably looked scary what with the red eyes.

He sighed and closed his book. "How long do you three want to be sewn together?" He asked curiously.

"Just tomorrow, you can de-sew us after school." Emmett and I said together.

He sighed again and said, "Fine." and grabbed his medical bag.

I'm not going to go into details on the sewing us together incident, and the "us trying to go back downstairs" incident. But I will tell you this, the first, wasn't too pleasant, and the second, was kind of fun seeing as we fell down the stairs.

So the next morning we went to school together, all three of us forced to sit in the back seat, because if we sat up front it'd be very awkward. When we got out of the car, everyone stared at us. We waved at them and smiled, and all of the teachers were all extremely confused as to how we got conjoined over the last two days where we didn't have school. We explained that it was medically necessary after we got into a car accident the first day school was cancelled.


	18. Kareoke, Sophie and Edward style

A/N Yay!

Disclaimer: We don't own twilight Stephenie meyers does, and I don't own any of the songs in this story.

SPOV:

"GUYS GET DOWN HERE!" Yelled Alice.  
We all ran down the stairs and plopped down onto the couch.

"Okay! We're doing Kareoke night!" She announced proudly, "Who

We all looked at each other. "Umm..I'll go," I offered raising my hand shyly.

I kept my thoughts distracted as I scrolled through the songs choices knowing what my destination would be.

Putting the headset with the microphone over my head, I went to the middle of the living room and cleared my throat.

Thankfully Carlisle and Esme were hunting for a few hours, this would be awkward if they were here..

The music started.

" What do we always tell them? You're too big to fit in here too big to fit in here too big to fit in here" I sang copying the moves from The sweetest thing, putting your hands over your vagina, covering your ass, and than your mouth.

What a lovely ride Your penis is a thrill Your penis is a Cadillac A giant Coupe de Ville Your penis packs a wallop Your penis brings a load And when it makes a delivery It needs its own zip code Nine - double zero - penis" I continued singing to my amused little audience.

I picked up the remote pretending to feel it up.  
"Your penis is so strong Your penis is so smooth Your penis has got a rhythm Your penis makes me groove Your penis is a dream!"

"The biggest one I've seen" Alice added in mimicking the old lady's voice.  
"It's oozy and it's green" said Felivia pretending to be the asian woman.  
(spoken) "Ewww" I said.  
(spoken) "Sorry" responded Felivia in the same mimick.

"You're too big to fit in here too big to fit in here too big to fit in here You're too big to fit in here too big to fit in here too big to fit in here" I continued to sing, while dancing around the living room.

"Your penis is so big," I sang in a voice of surprise.  
"Your penis is so thick," I sang pleased.  
"Your penis is so pretty," I cooed.  
"You've got a handsome dick!" Felivia, Alice, and I all spoke at once.

You're too big to fit in here too big to fit in here too big to fit in here You're too big to fit in here too big to fit in here too big to fit in here" I ang finishing the song. Everyone clapped. I smiled and took my place next to Edward.

"Okay, great job Sophie!" Said Alice smiling, "Edward you're next!"

"What ho-" He started to say but she cut him off. "HElloooo, phycic!" She said pointing to herself.

Edward mumbled under his breath and wen to the kareoke machine.

He walked to the middle of the living room and the song started to play.

"I was tired of my lady We'd been together too long Like a worn-out recording Of a favorite song," He smiled sheepishly he sang, really almost speaking it because of how slow the song starts out.

"So while she lay there sleeping I read the paper in bed And in the personal columns There was this letter I read" He sang, but took a pause.

"If you like Pina Coladas And getting caught in the rain If you're not into yoga If you have half a brain If you'd like making love at midnight In the dunes on the Cape Then I'm the love that you've looked for Write to me and escape." He sang with more power to his voice, and winked at me.

"I didn't think about my lady I know that sounds kind of mean" He shrugged.

"But me and my old lady Have fallen into the same old dull routine So I wrote to the paper Took out a personal ad And though I'm nobody's poet I thought it wasn't half bad" He continued on with his talk-slow-singing.

"Yes I like Pina Coladas And getting caught in the rain I'm not much into health food I am into champagne I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon And cut through all this red-tape At a bar called O'Malley's Where we'll plan our escape." He sang and slightly swayed to the tropical essence the song gave off.

"So I waited with high hopes And she walked in the place I knew her smile in an instant I knew the curve of her face" He kept his fingers crossed as he sang this verse.

"It was my own lovely lady And she said, 'Oh it's you.'" He sang and bit his lip and looked down at his feet.  
"Then we laughed for a moment And I said, I never knew.'" He sang trying to keep his face innocent. He paused for a second and continued onto the rest of the song.

That you like Pina Coladas Getting caught in the rain And the feel of the ocean And the taste of champagne If you'd like making love at midnight In the dunes of the Cape You're the lady I've looked for Come with me and escape" He sang with a wide grin on his face.

He repeated the chorus two more times and each line his voice got quieter and quieter, giving a faded out allusion.

We all applauded his performance and he looked down embarassed and shuffled back to the couch, putting his arm around me.

"Feliviaaaa!" Alice said in a sing-song voice, "It's your turn!!" 


	19. Kareoke, Felivia and Emmett style

A/N: Sorry we havent been updating lately, we've been writing like crazy though, its just our Chapter order got out of place, and I had to make tay write two more before I could post the three i finished. Yeah weird i know. but I'm psycho when it comes to me doing the Odd numbered chappies I've been moving my junk to a diferent romm so i've been in and out of the computer room all weekend . So here's the Kareoke chapter part dos. Emmett & Me, OH and "Sophie"(tay,) And I do not own any of the songs that we use in our fanfic. And the Ding Dong Song is Awesome, so go find it, it's by Gunther, lol, Lotsa love from your Friendly neighborhood Felivia.

FPOV

Carlisle and Esme returned shortly after Edward finished up his song, and I got up and tapped Edward on the shoulder, and told him to go over to his piano in my mind. Then I grabbed Emmett and whispered, "Go find some drums," He did and came back about a minute later and had them set up in the next minute. Then I closed the lid on Edward's piano and sat on it. Edward wasn't to happy. "Oh Edward, calm down." I said and then asked, "Does anyone know how to play Trumpets?" Carlisle raised his hand slowly. "Go find one and come back here."

He did, and I told the boys what song I was singing, but tried to keep it from Sophie, Jasper Rosalie Esme and Alice. Alice was giggling in anticipation. I ran upstairs and found a sparkly cocktail singer type dress and threw it on then came back and laid myself down on the Piano with the microphone. I threw a paper airplane at the girls and it told them to throw in Do Do Do Do's in certain spots.

Edward started playing the piano, and Emmett started pounding away at the drums. And the girls started their do's as I started singing, slowly standing up on Edward's piano. "Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? where's a streetwise hercules to fight the rise in arms, isnt htere a white knight upon a firey steed? late at night i toss and i turn and i dream of what i need!"

And then i jumped off of his piano, did a front flip, landed right infront of Jasper and started singing, "I NEED A HERO! I'm holding out for a hero till the end of hte night, he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight! I need a hero! i'm holding out for a hero till the morning light he's gotta be sure and hes gotta be soon and its gotta be larger than life, larger than life." the girls continued with the do do do do's Alice nearly dying of laughter because i was seranading her husband,

"Somewhere after midnight, in my wildest fantasy, somewhere just beyond my reach, there's someone reaching back for me, racing on the thunder, and rising with the heat," Enter Carlsile with some trumpets, "it's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet! Yeah! I need a hero!"

Enter Edward with some cool piano sounds, and Emmett with an awesome drum thing, "I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night!" Enter Carlisle with more trumpet. "he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight! I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light he's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon and he's gotta be larger than life, I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night " Emmett had a mini solo, then Carlisle joined in with the trumpet and Edward joined in with more awesome piano, I decided to jump on Jasper and start dancing on him.

Alice started giggling while the girls were singing oohs especially when Jasper got up and tried to jump out the window, and I pushed him against the wall and just like grinded on him and continued singing, "Up where the mountains meet the heavens above Out where the lightning splits the sea I could swear that there is someone somewhere Watching me Through the wind and the chill and the rain And the storm and the flood I can feel his approach Like a fire in my blood," enter the other girls, with "like a fire in my blood" three more times, "I Need a hero! i'm holding out for a hero i'm holding out for a hero til the end of the night, he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight, I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light he's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon and its gotta be larger than life, I Need a hero! i'm holding out for a hero i'm holding out for a hero til the end of the night, he's gotta be stron gand hes otta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight, I need a hero! i'm holding out for a hero till the morning light he's gotta be sure and hes gotta be soon and its gotta be larger than life," I started laughing on the last time i sang the chorus,still grinding against Jasper and I felt a small bulge starting to form in Jasper's jeans,"I Need a hero! i'm holding out for a hero i'm holding out for a hero til the end of the night," and the girls started with the ooh's again and I whispered in Jasper's ear, "Behave yourself soldier, you have a wifey, and I have a guy already." and gave him a pat on the front of his jeans and walked over to where Emmett was.

"I'm next!!" Emmett said with a big grin.

"Please tell me you don't need me to play more trumpets." Carlisle said putting the trumpet back in it's case.

"Nope. I just need an electric piano with some Techno-y backgroud music." Emmettt said with a grin, then whispered in my ear, "I'm going to need you to sing some parts, tell me you know," He lowered his voice so that only I can hear it and no one else, "The Ding Dong Song." I started laughing my head off and nodded.

"I Love that song!"

"Okay," Edward said as he finished setting up an electrci keyboard. "You can flip through some of the techno music on here and see if anything is close to what you need..." he finished, sounding scared.

Jasper was giving me death glares, and I was actually glad that Emmett needed me, I had a feeling that if I went over there, Jasper would have tried to kill me. We flipped through the techno music we found nothing at all similar but we figured it was either the one that we picked, or us going A cappela and I was not doing that.

Before the music even started, Emmett said, "Oh, you touch my tra-la-la, Mm, my ding ding dong." and i started singing la lalalal la la's as the music started, and Emmett repeated what he said before, "Deep in the night, I'm looking for some fun. Deep in the night, I'm looking for some love. D-D-Deep in the night, i'm looking for some fun, deep in the night i'm looking ofr some ---" We were dancing, rather, um how can I put this, dirty, like grinding on each other, and I kept making sex noises during the song, because thats how the song goes.

I joined in the singing with, "You tease me, Oh please me, I want you to be my love toy come near me, dont fear me, I just cant get enough of you boy!"

"OH you touch my tra-la-la, Mm my Ding Ding Dong." And i continued with the la's and he repeated it again, and i said, "My ding ding dong!!!" and continued with the la's, Emmett turned me around so that my back was towards him, and made me bend over in front of him and started doing that whole make it look like he's smackin my ass move, and continued, "Deep in the night, I'm looking for some fun, Deep in the night, i'm looking for some love,"

"YOu teas me oh please me i want you to be my love toy, come near me dont fear me I just cant get enough fo you boy."

"Oh you touch my gra-la-la, Mm my ding ding dong." and i contineued with the la's. And then I turned around and started grinding against him some more, while continueing with the Lala's and he was syaing "Oh you touch my tra-la-la, mm My ding Ding Dong." until the music ended.

"WHat the hell was that?!" Carlisle said, eyes wide with fright.

"That my dear daddy, was The Ding Dong Song." Emmett said with a grin.

"Well, new rule for kareoke night, No dancing like that, and no songs involving penises...and Emmett, dont you dare say "But that was about Ding Dongs." No, it was about Penises, and sex and other things that we dont even want to discuss with you kids." Carlisle and Esme said.

Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Edward and I All started laughing thinking Sophie's lucky that Carlisle and Esme weren't there for her song.

"What's so funny?" Carisle asked.

"The first song in Kareoke night was called the Penis Song...and Sophie sang it. You two got back as I finished up the second song, Felivia sang the third, and Emmett the fourth, and now its your guys' turn to sing." Edward explained to Carlisle and Esme.

"Ugh I don't want to." Carlisle said trying to hide behind his wife.

"And you say I'm the pansy, at least i'm willing to go up there and sing." Jasper muttered.

"Carlisle, you're going first." Esme said and shoved him up onto our makeshift stage.

"O-Okay..." He said.


End file.
